Master0fPuppets's blog: "Brain Droppings"

Got this from 514x0r this morning... HAD to blog it. A negative concept cannot be formed by two positives. Yeah, right. - Joseph Leff A writer must not shift your point of view. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Always pick on the correct idiom. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. And always be sure to finish what And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Always avoid alliteration. Always. Avoid archaeic spellings too. Avoid clichés like the plague; they're old hat. Seek viable alternatives. Avoid incorrect verb forms that snuck into common usage. - Joseph Leff Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Awl weighs ewes yore spell chequer. - Joseph Leff Be more or less specific. Be sure to use semicolons correctly, always use it where it's proper to do so: and never where it isn't. - Joseph Leff capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point Comparisons are as bad as clichés. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively. Do not use in-correct hyphenation. - Joseph Leff Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions. Don't never use a double negation. Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before. Don't use any *&$##@* euphemisms. - Joseph Leff Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Eschew obfuscation. - Joseph Leff Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be eliminated by rereading and editing. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions. It is important to never, ever, split infinitives. - Joseph Leff It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. It's incumbent upon us to eschew archaic or obscure terminology. - Joseph Leff Kill all exclamation points!!! Mixing metaphors is like pinning the tail on the horse after it's left the stable. - Joseph Leff Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice. Never use negative-form statements. - Joseph Leff No sentence fragments. One should never generalize. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas. Place pronouns as closely as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. As Sir Winston Churchill said, "That is one rule up with which I do not like to have to put." Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Punctuation like capitalization is very important Puns are for children, not groan readers. Remember to never split an infinitive. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. The adverb always follows the verb. The overuse of superlatives is the worst thing in the world. - Joseph Leff The passive voice is to be avoided. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. Who needs rhetorical questions? Write the adverbial categories correct. - Joseph Leff Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 different people right now (don't list names): (AT THIS VERY SECOND) 1. I will be here for you, no matter what's behind that red door. 2. My heart hurts when I think about you. 3. I miss you terribly, and it's hard to go day to day without seeing you anymore. 4. You need to get help, because you're still the same person you were back then. 5. Until you stop lying to yourself, you're going to be a lonely person. 6. Some day soon, I will show you what you mean to me. 7. I miss you, and wish I lived closer so we could spend time together. 8. Stop trying to be something, just be. 9. I can't wait to see what happens when everyone figures you out, and karma has it's way with you. 10. You need to stop living for other people, and start living for yourself. Nine things about yourself: 1. I worry too much 2. I smoke too much 3. I'm not where I want to be 4. I never lie about my heart 5. I can rarely get enough affection 6. My heart hurts almost all the time 7. I'm too nice, and too forgiving 8. I've never been to Disneyland/world, and wanna go 9. I need to stop procrastinating. Eight ways to win your heart: 1. Be yourself 2. Don't lie 3. Don't play head games 4. Affection is priceless to me 5. I need reassurance once in a while, so what? 6. Even if I'm wrong, be on my side 7. Ask me why I'm sad all the time 8. If you feel something, TELL ME. Seven things that cross your mind a lot: 1. my daughter 2. my cats 3. coffee 4. being alone 5. time for a cig 6. I should stop procrastinating 7. I need to fix stuff. Six things you wish you never did: 1. did drugs 2. dropped out of college 3. gave up on _______ 4. trusted her 5. believed she'd be different 6. doubted she was my birthmom Five turn offs in a guy/girl: 1. playing stupid 2. beating around the bush 3. letting people walk all over you 4. thinking the world owes you something 5. leading people on Four turn ons in a guy/girl: 1. complete honesty 2. fascinate my mind 3. beautiful eyes 4. don't play head games Three careers you would consider: 1. Air Traffic Controller (my MOS) 2. EMT 3. Forest Ranger Two things you want before you die: 1. Visit Australia 2. Unconditional Love One confession: I give my heart too freely.

What Robert Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You Are: 10% Dog, 90% Cat

You are are almost exactly like a cat. You're intelligent, independent, and set on getting your way. And there's no way you're going to fetch a paper for anyone!

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

A strong argument for the religion of Christ is this - that offences against Charity are about the only ones which men on their death-beds can be made - not to understand - but to feel - as crime. Edgar Allan Poe All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. Edgar Allan Poe All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. Edgar Allan Poe As an individual, I myself feel impelled to fancy a limitless succession of Universes. Each exists, apart and independently, in the bosom of its proper and particular God. Edgar Allan Poe Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. Edgar Allan Poe Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Edgar Allan Poe Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant. Edgar Allan Poe I am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and the atrocity. Edgar Allan Poe I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allan Poe I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. Edgar Allan Poe I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect - in terror. Edgar Allan Poe I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. Edgar Allan Poe I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty. Edgar Allan Poe If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. Edgar Allan Poe In criticism I will be bold, and as sternly, absolutely just with friend and foe. From this purpose nothing shall turn me. Edgar Allan Poe In one case out of a hundred a point is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed. Edgar Allan Poe It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream. Edgar Allan Poe It is the nature of truth in general, as of some ores in particular, to be richest when most superficial. Edgar Allan Poe It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic. Edgar Allan Poe Man's real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so. Edgar Allan Poe Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them. Edgar Allan Poe Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary. Edgar Allan Poe Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words. Edgar Allan Poe Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence. Edgar Allan Poe Stupidity is a talent for misconception. Edgar Allan Poe That man is not truly brave who is afraid either to seem or to be, when it suits him, a coward. Edgar Allan Poe That pleasure which is at once the most pure, the most elevating and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the beautiful. Edgar Allan Poe The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? Edgar Allan Poe The death of a beautiful woman, is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world. Edgar Allan Poe The generous Critic fann'd the Poet's fire, And taught the world with reason to admire. Edgar Allan Poe The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true. Edgar Allan Poe The nose of a mob is its imagination. By this, at any time, it can be quietly led. Edgar Allan Poe The rudiment of verse may, possibly, be found in the spondee. Edgar Allan Poe The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be. Edgar Allan Poe There are few cases in which mere popularity should be considered a proper test of merit; but the case of song-writing is, I think, one of the few. Edgar Allan Poe There is an eloquence in true enthusiasm. Edgar Allan Poe There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute, which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man. Edgar Allan Poe They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. Edgar Allan Poe To vilify a great man is the readiest way in which a little man can himself attain greatness. Edgar Allan Poe We loved with a love that was more than love. Edgar Allan Poe Were I called on to define, very briefly, the term Art, I should call it 'the reproduction of what the Senses perceive in Nature through the veil of the soul.' The mere imitation, however accurate, of what is in Nature, entitles no man to the sacred name of 'Artist.' Edgar Allan Poe With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion. Edgar Allan Poe Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. Edgar Allan Poe

You Are the Ego

You take a balanced approach to your life. You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones. But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does. You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.

You Are Fairly Skeptical

You're not the type of person who will fall for anything... But you do keep your mind open to all sorts of possibilities. You figure that anything could be true. After all, the world is a strange place. However, you're going to need some convincing before you can believe in aliens or reincarnation!

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

Your Love Life is Like The Princess Bride

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." For you, love is like a fairy tale - albeit a fairly twisted one. You believe romance is all about loyalty, fate, and a good big of goofy fun. Your love style: Idealistic yet quirky Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Perfectly romantic

PERfectly Romantic, huh? *smiles big*