Well, as we all know.... people aren't always perfect. And, as SURE as I am that Adam is the perfect man FOR me... I'm slowing starting to learn more about his flaws, also. Of course, he's the love of my life. I truly believe this. I've never felt so strongly for someone... ever. But, I suppose that same love, and devotion to him.. is what makes certain things hurt more... Although, as a whole, Adam makes me so happy... he has his moments, where, he's a total asshole. These moments are usually when he drinks. And last night he was so drunk... he says he doesn't remember anything... although, I'm inclined to believe him based off some shit that got said last night. Although, I dont feel it's any of your business to know WHAT happened, although, certain people will know because they are close friends of mine, so i discuss things more with them.. But, trust me when I say... what he did... didn't even piss me off... but hurt me... badly... I cried. A lot. I think the girls somehow knew i was upset... because i wasn't loud at all, but they woke up, at different times, and came to me and cuddled with me and loved on me. Which, honestly, made it all better... until he called me this morning... he had't even realized I'd left until this morning... he was passed out drunk... the entire situation was, well, beyond fucked up... And, i'm not sure how to take all of this... I don't wanna just forgive him and be like "ok"... but at the same time, I'm not sure if this is something serious enough to break up with him.... he just has to stop drinking... period... i can't deal with more bullshit like this from him. I mean... I'm seriously and truly hurt.. and I can deal with alot.. I can deal with an ASSHOLE... i have for 6 years... but, i can't deal wuth cruelty, and he was just, oh my god... mean... although, he's normally not. Thats whats weird... he's normally a sweet loving teddy bear. He's... amazingly sweet and kind... and so devoted to me... but when he drinks... he's this whole other person, and I can't deal with him... So, i've got a lot on my plate in the guy realm right now... i'm not sure whats going to happen, or how this is going to work... just keep us in your thoughts and prayers... cuz, i've got a lot of thinking i have to do about all of this.
