BigHomie's blog: "Born Into Sin"

Afterwards we didn't see much of my mother and my father refusing to let her around us didn't help much neither. I wasn't sure why he was being so mean to her but as I now know it was because he didn't want us to see her in her strung out state. We didn't live in that big three story house anymore because we had lost it to a spontaneous fire. We were in the house when the fire had started and I had called out the window to my father who was sitting outside on the steps with some of his friends. He actually came in and got us himself he grabbed my little brother and sister told me to climb on his back and he got us out of their running through and jumping over fire. After all that happened we moved with an uncle who we lived with for about 6 months. Almost 2 years had gone by since my mother made the choice of drugs over her kids and she finally was back in the picture. She some how got herself together and was coming to our uncles house to visit us. It was perfect timing to cause my fathers fast life had finally caught up with him. He was arrested after being stopped on the street and having a gun on him. My mother had a 2 bedroom apt in East Baltimore so all three of us went to go live with her. Things were good and we all enjoyed living with our mother who always had a playful and fun way about her. When I was about seven my mother got pregnant by a guy who lived just down the street from us. I didnt know much about this guy just that he came around every now and then to see my mother and when he did it was during the late night hours. Not to long afterwards my mother had her forth child and third boy. Right after he was born I remember my mother sitting on the bed crying one day I walked up to her and asked her why she was crying and she told me that my little brothers father died and she was sad. Her friends death mustve really hurt her because I started seeing a ghost. My mother started getting skinny and leaving us in the house by ourselves for a long time, this forced me to feed, dress; change dirty diapers and take care of my little sister and brothers. The ghost that I saw was the skinny women on those court steps that I hoped to never see again. To Be Continued.....................................

I was born on January 13th 1985 sometime late at night which might explain why I prefer to be up during the midnight hours. I was the first of three that my mother and father concieved and I came during their teenage years, my mom was 16 and my father 18. My mother told me a couple times before that I was made out of the heat of passion one night after one of their teenage falling outs that I'm sure all of us know a little something about. Which would probably explains why I hate to be hot, out in the heat and can't stand a girl that is about a lot of drama. We lived in a three story house that my great grandmother had left my father in her passing. Me and my little brother shared one of the 2 rooms on the third floor with my mother and father. My little sister who is a year younger than me had her own room which was one of the three on the second floor. We lived their up until I was about 5 and I remember we did'nt need for anything cause my father was the neighborhood supplier of what I now know was dope. I was 5 when I started to notice that Mommy- was'nt around much any more because she had got addicted to the poison that my father was dealing to the rest of the neighborhood. Not to long aftwerwards, the gap between her coming aroung to see us started getting greater and greater. Soon my father was the only parent in my life if you call him turning us over to a babysitter for days at a time was him being in our life. I remember things started getting stranger, I was at a court house listening to a judge tell my mother that the only wey that she would get to see us is if she put herself into some type of program and prove to him that she could be a fit mother. Before we left the court house that day she was giving kisses to my little brother and sister and when she got to me I looked her in her eyes then her face and the down to her skinny body and I remember saying in my young head Mommy looks sick. To Be Continued....................