Nixx's blog: "blah..."

plese somebody anybody kill me this cant be real either get me out here or kill me the choice is urs choose wisely

another eeyore...BUT this one will have a rain cloud and say when it rain it pours and a heart w/ a ribbon that says matteo his pet nah from his fan club some ppl still dont know i hate to be the bearer of bad news all i gotta sasy is am i next...please?

being inlove sucks! especialy if u cant have the person u want! right now it really sucks to be me! i need a man!

Oh how I love you The pain won't go away Oh when I need you You're always so far away I cry for you Leaving myself to blame I died for you I gave up everything

it isnt healthy. THAT IS ALL!

so i found out more shit about my ex more cheating and such and now hes tryn to marry me and i aint having it!

first off men cant drive! everytime i get behind the wheel and theres a guy driving there either sunk low in the seat try to look cool and cant see over teh dash bored! OR theyre looking away form the road and talking with their hands while running offa trhe road! not that im sayiing chick are better drivers..were not. i see them talking on their cells and outting makeup on i mean hell my sister wrecked that way...*mummbles* dumb bitch! ive had 2 accidents in the etire time ive been driving and the weather had a factor in both of them. the third time i wasnt driving my car. damn deer! and jimmy is still up my ass! he wont leave me alone! GRRR! AND NOW I HAVE AN OLD FRIND TELLING ME HIS EX IS TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME AND MY ROOM MATE! WTF! shes telling my ex that she never said anything. idk who to believe so i just wont talk to any of them! im sick of drama and non-driving ppl! WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! now im watching criss angel being pulled behind a boat in a straight jacket (hot) and he got out! now hes gunna levitate ^_^ this guys jesus! not to mention pretty. i'd have his kittens! MEOW! CRISS ANGLE IS IN THE MATRIX!!!!! im tryn to entertain myself so i dont start crying. y do i feel like cryn u might ask... WELL IM NOT SAYN!

ok so i wake up w/ something i can never have stuck in my head. so i downlaod it and listen to it & suprisingly didnt cry! some mornings i do that.but not today! ^_^ i feel free after telling a certain someone to get outa my arse! but now he wont stop texting me and calling me and hes all like im ready to get married now. i dont wasnt him to marry me outa guilt...HELL im not even to sure i still wanna be with him!!! >_< for one i fell out love & that wasnt my fault..absence made this heart grow forgetful not fonder.he wanted too m uch free time. always out at the bar drinking. but now hes kissing my ass. idk what to do about him. im going bonkerz!!! restraing orders are pretty harsh. grrr! any volunteers for an ass beating? get some sense knocked into his head! he keeps telling our friends hes scared hes gunna lose me...TOO LATE! he should have thought about me when i was wanting attention. i wasted 8 years on this guy all b/c he said we'd be together forever. dunno if ill ever believe that one again! i feel so jaded. my nerves are so bad my eys been twitching. plus i wake up & cry so much b4 i get outa bed some days. some days i wake up pukeing. im so insecure b/c of stupid shit. i shouldnt bring my self down but i find ways to pick my self up drurring those times.like today i rewarded my self with chinese food for not wakeing up and freaking out...i mean y not treat myself for good behavior lol (^o^)/ maybe ill get outa this silly vortex ive been sucked into! my ewating habboits have gotten better. i opted for a salad alot more often recentley since i was a kid.thou im DIEING for sushi!!! i need to call lisa and plan a sushi date soon. im feaning for some sticky ball!!! my friends that dont eat sushi are like what are those red things? i tell them salmon eggs. theyre all like eww! i thought so too till i tried it!!! some people like to go threough life not knowing its good stuff! so as i sit here stuffing my face w/an egg roll i cant help but think i should be out doing something but there isnt shit to do. i hate it here! there arnt any good clubs anymore. they keep getting shut down. speakingof shutting down my eyeis twitching so imma take a break from my lover (computer).later bitches!!!

so after loseing his arm to drunk driving less then a year ago...michale died from that exact thing last night. im heart broken. yet surrounded by my good friends sonny michelle and petra...meshulls @home. theyre helping me to the best of their ability but it not really working. cody is talking to me and it kinda getting my mind offa things but i still feel then need to cuddle and cry on someones sholder and well i cut things compleatly off w/ my ex feiance. i dont think hell ever be ready to settle down. weve been engauged off and on for 8 years. i still have both of my rings. i needot getmy high school ring back fromhimand give himhis back!! i cant deal w/ a cheater/liar. thats all he dose. i just feel i need to cut my loses. theres nothing else to do. so much is going on righrt now. wish i could take a break from existing. and on that note nap time.

addictions: chap stick chinese people i mean uhh food video games sex mary jane attention sushi gay people the internet shopping tattoos piercings sexy partys anime music dislikes: players drama most females 2 faced people religion (its man made like everything else) the color yellow being left unsatisfied weather it be sex or not hardcore kids in mosh pits...what ever happened to the pogo? cutters (listen to all the bright eyes u want) guys named paul sluts guys that try to dance w/ u and your firends old men in general baldness being alone