Bitemenoname's blog: "Bitemenoname"

There is a new warning put out by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency Sherwood brand Pirate's Gold Milk Chocolate coins are being recalled due to the fact that they contain Melamine, the ingredient in milk product that has caused many infant deaths in china. These candies are sold at Costco, as well as many bulk and dollar stores. Please make sure to check your children s Halloween candy and DO NOT LET THEM EAT THE PIRATE COINS (you know the ones wrapped in the shiny gold foil) and please let other parents know about this!

Its a free click, and you never know, your click may save a life. The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' -- for free (pink window in the middle). This does not cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

Lil known tricks 1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice. 2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers,or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle. 3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often. 4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season. 5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer)screen. 6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling,wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling. 7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce. 8. To freshen t he a ir in your home - Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet. 9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner. 10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew. 11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing. 12. To freshen the air in your car Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat. 13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan. 14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket. 15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs. 16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling. 17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth. 18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper. 19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight. 20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet! In their back pocket to keep the bees away. 21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

> > Charlotte, North Carolina > > > >A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive > > cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. > > > > Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of > > these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium > >payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance > >company. > > > >In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of >small > >fires.' > > > > The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious > > reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. > > > > The lawyer sued and WON ! > > > >(Stay with me.) > > > > Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the > > insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated > >nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it >had > > warranted > >that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure > >them > >against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable > >'fire' > >and was obligated to pay the claim. > > > > Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance > >company > > accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of >the > >cigars lost in the 'fires'. > > > >NOW FOR THE BEST PART... > > > >After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company > > had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! > > With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case >being > >used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his > >insured > >property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. > > > > This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent > >Criminal > >Lawyers Award Contest. > > > >ONLY IN AMERICA, NO WONDER OTHER COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS!

After an exhaustive review of the literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health... 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink whatever the hell you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. Don't worry, the U.S. Government is trying to correct that problem.

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our Days >interesting. > >Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the News Stand >for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in >there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a >parking ticket. >I said to him, 'Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than >write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or >child molesters...that's out of your league, obviously!!! >He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He >glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called >him 'Barney Fife'. > >He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. >Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more >I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. > >Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus. The car that he >was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'OBAMA in '08.' >I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important >to my health!

(All things I've learned during the last year by using my computer.) I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt. Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. Oh, and don't forget this one either. I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies! If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician... Have a wonderful day.... A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late