BITCH's blog: "BitchOnWheels"

I have been sitting here the last view days thinking alot of things over. My life, My place in this life, and what it is I really want from my life. Many times, over the yrs I have thought I wasn't good enough for people. I have bashed myself over the head a thousand times asking what it is about me people just didn't like and how to change it. I have self-esteem issues, who doesn't, I'm no Cindy Crawford, or any next top model. I'm a BBW. With severe body issues. I've lost over 150 lbs and still look in the mirror and see the person I was. The thing is I like who I am. I'm a great mother, a great friend, and the most passionate person about things. I am a Bitch. I wasn't always one, but life and situations have created me to be one. So, I guess to all those that want me to be something different or someone different. Tough Shit! You get what you get with me and you can either take it or leave. I'm tired of beating myself up because someone want this to change or that. I may have my issues, but you know what so does 1.5 million people. I'm dealing with mine. Get over it.

You know the saying There is a reason Exes are Exes... Well... Mine just showed me why it's great to be his ex! It's even worse when you have children because it's not U who gets hurt but the children always in the end. Why do exhusbands always feel that the best way to hurt the ex-wife is through the kids? I'm not hurt for myself but more for my kids. They are the ones who have to deal with it. They are the ones who cry out for a father and always denied. I love this line when it comes to child support from an ex. U will never see a Dime of my money... Okay.. fine.. I won't... but then again who does it hurt.. not me.. the kids.. they are the ones who have to go without that little bit extra..maybe one month it's that dinner or maybe it's that birthday present that they really want and never get because well, the money isn't there. I don't know how many times I have had to tell my kids NO, because the money is just enough to cover the bills. I have had to cut my boy's hair for years because that $12 was just to much to come up with. $12 should be easy to come up with but when you have more than one child you have have to take the needest first and that is usually the youngest. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't feel I am. If I am someone let me know. Maybe I'm just getting to old to play the games the correct way.. I'm to old to be playing anyway. Exes love those headgames and I'm just not willing to play anymore with mine... I'll leave that for him to do.

I know I did a Mum on this, but let me tell you about the roommate we call Turbo Lips! I have a family of 5 kids and of course a husband. I had to take in 3 roommates to help cover expenses.. Well, Turbo Lips, has paid his rent short 50 bucks of course because well.... you know he needs things too. Like 200 bucks is too much to pay. Anyway, I pay the majority of the rent and ALL the electric bill and put in 85 percent of the food. No problem, I have the most people. But where is Turbo Lips, eating my food and hording food himself. I have 5 kids! He eats more than he puts in!!! Then if you don't share things with him he gets all crabby and acts like my 4 yr old! I have enough kids! I don't need anymore. I'm so pissed I could scream. I've tried to talk to him, but it goes in one ear and out the other. My one roommate wants to go all PMS on him. I have gone all PMS and Postal and it does no good. Okay, no more bitching

You know I'm kinda of tired of men who think they own the world. God's gift to women. I'd like just once to meet a man who was just a little down to earth.