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Bipolar thoughts

So I realize that everyone can read and more than likely respond to this, but not too long ago I found out that I am Bipolar. The sad thing is I really hate being on medication yet I have to be or else my moods aren't stable. The sad thing is I am in what I feel is not a good relationship, he has only laid hands on me a couple times, but most time's I am the one that starts the violent fights. I don't do it a lot it's actually very rare, but my other half always gets pissed off over the simpliest of things, I have talked to him about how it makes me feel and that is scares me, because he throws his controller, and says the games cheats, and games are supposed to be fun. I hate when he throws the controllers because one of them IS after all mine and they are not cheap to replace. They are the cordless remote controllers. There are times where I wish he would just leave me but I am afraid I wouldn't make it on my own. 

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