I never could have imagined how different my life would become after I had my son. Before he came, all I ever thought about was myself. Not as in " I am self absorbed woman, hear me roar" more like whatever happens, happens. I never thought about things the same way as I do now. I cant cross the cross walk anymore unless the signs tell me I can cross. I can't rush to eat, or take my food into the living room to watch tv. It's now sit at the table like good boys and girls. Play time is no longer me and the clubs, it's leggos, coloring books and cartoons. When i go to the store to buy something on a whim, it's quickly forgotten and replaced with " Ooh ooh Mommy!". I am supposed to be the teacher but in return I am the one that is being taught. I'm being taught how to laugh and play as if I was 2 again. I'm relearning how to color within the lines, and I am finding Waldo all over again. I am learning that it doesn't matter what people think of you as you do a silly dance in public, just to make your son laugh. I am no longer self-absorbed and frightened of the thoughts of other people. It doesn't matter now. The only thing that matters in this world is fulfilling every single wish that my son makes. Making the best out of his life and striving to be a better person and mother in the process. It's an odd thing to be a mother (Or father); everything changes. I was scared to death the day i found out I was pregnant. I cried and cried thinking my life was going to be over. I was scared up until the day he was born. I looked at him and in that very moment time stood still long enough for me to realize that this is my destiny. I never knew how much you could love someone in an instant. He is my hero and my best friend. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else in this world. Life is better with him around.
My son received his shots the other day. He had to have 2 in one arm and 2 in the other. I was dreading them. i didn't want him to be hurt in any way. I knew it had to happen though. So we went in and sat down. They came in and started preparing his arm for the first set of shots. And then the first shot went in. He only squeaked a little bit, but I started crying. Then the second, third and finally the fourth shot. My little champion. he only shed a single tear throughout that whole process. I on the other hand I was almost bawling. After each shot I kissed his arm at least 5 times. My mother went with us that day and when Sebastian came out my mother asked him if he was alright and did he get his shots. He pulled up his shirt looked down at the band aid and shrugged his shoulders like it was no big thing at all. I had tissues in my hand and had to sit down. Sebastian came up to me patting and rubbing my back trying to console me by giving me kisses and going " OH mommy it ok"
I know everyone thinks that their child is amazing especially me. My son has done more for me than anyone else in this world. He has done something that no one else in this world has been able to do. He has taught me how to be human, less judgmental, less harsh in speaking. He has taught me how to play again and foremost love again. He doesn't know to the extent of what he has done for me, but I will provide the very best of what life has to offer. I will forever be grateful for him. I love being a mommy.
