Because of You I am
Sorry I made you cry
and your impression of me as flawless--
deserted your memory somehow.
It hurts to know I’ve mishandled you
but you should understand-
the woman that I am.
I barricade the murmurs that dwell in my head
aspiring to make me do damage and commit--
ever sin known to man.
I feud with my demons on a daily basis
and sometimes I come close to lurking-
into their disease.
It’s a tattoo on my identity
that will never let me go
but I attempt to place---
a smile on my face
and act like breathing is ok.
You have visions of a woman I never will be
and I am sorry I made you believe
I can be anyone but me.
It’s okay to hate every NOW
and than if it causes you to understand
I am only human and sometimes
I cave to intoxication.
I crave to discover intimacy
and a brief bit of peace of mind
to walk in the eclipse of you
for just a little time.
You open me to my uniqueness
and proved I am loved.
Taught me I am beautiful
and a better person
than I thought I was.
With anguish I expect these demons--
will consume the fulfilment you introduced to me
and sometimes I ache just for a salience of paradise-
a syrupy and compassionate kiss . . .
It’s ok to assume I am better than I am
cause you taught me----
I can walk
and stand tall
and be honourable to all my imperfection’s
massage my beast and absorb all my vanity.
I am loved and that is better--
than anything that may--
lodge within.
