LadyLilithDreams's blog: "BDSM"

June 12, 2006 This weekend, I have had to think long and hard on what the Collar I wear means to me. I thought I had put enough thought into it when I first accepted His Collar. I knew it meant my complete submission to Him, and I extended that submission to include any time we were in contact with one another. I originally thought that the Collar was only going to apply to the times that we were together so as to not affect my other relationship. I have come to realize that the Collar is a 24/7 commitment, with the understanding that the needs of my other partner are equal to those of my Master, and as such, nothing asked of me will ever interfere with that. Being new to wearing a Collar, I though that there could be a possibility of having more than one Master, equating it to having more than one partner, with open communication, my mind could at the time see how that could have been possible. The idea was enticing. Over the weekend, I was confronted with that possibility, and within myself, I saw the true impossibility of it. After discussion and thought, the mere idea of it began to turn my stomach. I began to question how I could even have ever considered another possibility. Although I can have as many partners as I wish, I can have only one Master. I love my partners equally, giving them all I have to give. They are what bring joy to my life, along with my friends and family. It is so difficult to describe the intensity of the love I feel for them. One is my Master, and there is an added dimension to that relationship that comes with someone knowing you more than you know yourself. It is another dynamic that is difficult to describe. Being Poly allows me to have such vastly different partners that contribute to one another to create a cohesive unit that adresses all of what I need in my life to be happy. The Collar I wear may seem to some to simply be a sentimental piece of jewelry I wear that says I am someones "Beloved". It is so much more than that. It is a constant reminder of two of the most important people in my life, my connection to them, and through the titanium we all wear, also to my Sisters in Collar. Everytime I take a breath, as my neck expands, I feel it's caress, and the momentary uncertainty that if I sneeze, the jump ring might come apart. The feel of the silver hearts dangling between my shoulder blades reminding me of my "acceptace", and "trust" I have in my Master. Even the clothes I wear, and how I do my hair is influenced so as to be able to better display it. Waking up at night because one of the hearts sits wrong, or the clasp is digging into my skin where the pillow hits. The feel of the beads against my skin reminding me of my Master, and the cool metal of the wolf charm reminding me of my lover bring such joy and comfort, no words can describe it. My submission to Him is nearly complete. The only areas I keep the final say so in are my family(kids, finances, home), and my lifestyle(polyamory). I know He respects my choice to be His sub, and not slave. In most things my submission is 100Àand I know he appreciates this gift of myself.

What is a sister in Collar? June 29, 2006 Wow, the term encompasses so much. I suppose one would have to know basically what it means to "be in Collar" first. For me, a big part of wearing His Collar is trust. Aside from the pleasure/pain aspect of the sexual side of the relationship, trust is a big part ofwearing the Collar. I wear the Collar 24/7 (well, minus an hour or so when I am taking a bath), it is a constant reminder of the trust I have placed in my Masters hands. I literally trust Him with my life. I have willingly given Him many things that most people take for granted in their own lives. One example is the ability to orgasm. He is the only one allowed to share my word that triggers my orgasms, and I have to trust that he will not abuse the word, nor give it to someone who would. Granted, that might or might not seem tame to people, but there are times where I literally place my life in His hands. Being tied up, asphyxiation, edge play (knives), for example, are all potentially dangerous. The Collar is a symbol of my trust in Him, and also singnals to myself and others that I am bound to Him. It is much the same as a wedding ring, though the symbolism at times, and depending on the relationship runs much deeper, and on a much more primal and intimate level. Each of my sisters have their own idea of what it means to "be in Collar". Suffice it to say, it is equally as important to them. The fact that we each trust Him with our lives, puts us all at the same level with each other. He also trusts each of us. On a basic level, because we trust Him, and his decisions, we also trust one another. It does however go beyond even that. We all share a deep friendship and love for one another. We are sisters. We do have our quarrels, and our tizzy fits. We are individuals, so we are not going to agree on everything. On the other hand, because of the nature of the relationship we have with our Master, and with each other, what affects one of us, affects all of us. When one is sad, even if that person does not say anything, we ALL feel it, we ALL know about it, and we ALL work on ways to try to help. This is what draws us closer together. When one is happy, we ALL share in that happiness. We may not be related by blood, but we are sisters by choice and in Collar. We share similar goals and are dedicated to helping each other reach those goals. My sisters are very important to me, as is their happiness and well being. What is important to realize is that we depend on one another for emotional support. It is not always easy being in a polyamorous relationship, sometimes fears come up, and we are there to help each other through the difficult times. Sometimes there are issues in our other relationships, it is at these times we seek support, or advice. Sometimes we need a swift kick in the ass with an honest opinion. All that being said, we are sisters, lovers, friends, and a support group. We each fulfill a special place in each other's lives. Granted we each have our other friends and loved ones, but there is a special place that is filled by your sister in Collar. They are the ones who understand what subspace is, they understand the downtime that comes a few days after an intense session with our Master, they understand the nuances of what it means to be in a Poly BDSM relationship. I am thankful to have my two amazing and beautiful sisters in my life, and I thank them for accepting me into theirs. 143