As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written impressive new book.It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope onlyexpects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if
you're in
the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded
up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now,
of
course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out,
gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines
and a
large trash can.
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try
to rip
me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal
fluid."
11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see
how he
was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told
him
rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will.
He
said,"Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying
sex.
13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters
never
point the wrong way.