Sometimes it is more difficult to be a soldier than one might think. The military has a way of changing you more than you think that you have changed. Combat arms people feel this more than the other services because we bond more through shared emotional and hardship experiences.
It strips away the veneer of civility and takes away those little aspects of humanity that we as a society create to build a facade of order. However, the longer you traverse down that road, the harder it is to regain oneself. I have always been a combat arms' soldier and officer. I enlisted in the Infantry, the Queen of Battle, 13 years ago and have never looked back. Upon my commission, I went over to Armor, where I lost most of my hearing...lol...nothing really worth listening to anyway! After that, I tried out and got accepted to Special Forces.
After years of combat arms' service, I have lost myself . I no longer know how to communicate with non-military personnel. What is worse, I have lost the ability to properly communicate with military personnel as well. Torn between two communities and unable to communicate properly with either one.
Sounds strange, but I miss being in Iraq. It was easier there. I have decided to volunteer for a year long assignment upon graduation from NPS.
It was funny, I met a man the other day, who served in Vietnam and we talked for a long while. A friend later told me that that was the most he talked about his military experience in all the years that they had been friends. I said that that was because he knew that I understood. I saw it in his eyes when I said that I had been to Iraq and Afghanistan. We were, despite the years that seperated us, a band of brothers. It knows no race, color, or creed. We care not what you did or do and your sins are --for the most part-- for the ages once you don that uniform and step into harms way. There is a greater purity in the fires of combat than anywhere else; however, you are changed. The Winds of change blow hard there, and I do understand now. I am sorry for doubting and not supporting. Mea culpa!
So, a man, who served in Vietnam and a man, who served in Afghanistan and Iraq, sat down and ate a dinner together in peace...but the caucophany of our shared experiences was ever present.
My Brothers and Sisters ! Thank you for your service! Keep the faith!
We few, we brave few!
