BAM BAM's blog: "Bam Bam's words"

changes in phases indistinguishable from the way this ebbs and flows the undreamble turns face up and shows the grace pf placement through strategic and invasive tactics unbased in the math of it but aware of a path in it I laugh and its a strange muse. hereafter is when to make moves on the constant shake the roots and beyond that wake to truth, an ever expanding dialation its unraveling evolving and baffling, its revolving but not in the sense of violation it grabs a sweet tooth and satisfies satiating you, but this is me this tree an unnamed breed seeded from undepleted love and now seated with heated mind, as my buzzing fingertips find the way through the keys attempting to sieze the diem the dream unfolding a renovation with hell to heaven scaffolding remolding fire and water emboldening soul with cynergy recoding the whole thing with energy Im holding a thinner string but the cabling wont budge the strength and pull is just too much can you touch this Im feeling realxed in my grip reeling in flips and the trip just started now Im a part of it tipped in to start it now a pass into the heart of it topped with an incredible artifice indelible artifacts branded on memory's back now its time to build the tracks.

Can you hold this please? Dont fold it, it needs to be straight to hold the breeze. The moments pass and days dont last. Not long enough for me to get a grasp on all the thoughts and feelings that have my head hashed. Im bracing for the impact, And hoping I'll stay intact, but I know that once its done we cant take it back, so I write my personal to keep it on track. But the roads been covered now how am I to find my way? Today Im lost hung over and frayed. It's the edges of my soul. Please tell me you know how to braid. See I need help this waters too deep to wade. Can you tie me back together and make me feel okay? Would you fly me through the weather and make this jack ass and ace? Could you give me 90 days notice and hold this heart securely as a deposit? Please dont fold it.  I'll pay you when I pick up the pieces and get emboldened. Can you hold this please? Dont fold it, it needs to be straight to hold the breeze. This is to the son that I may never meet. I'm sorry, tears flow from my eyes and I am far from at peace. I hope your soul returns and I hope its to me. Know that my heart and soul burn and I am but cinders of a fallen tree. I'm at siege from self hatred unabated and it flows through me. This is the greatest heartbreak that could ever be. Know that before your mother I never even wanted to breed, But she changed my thoughts and my heart grew from a weed to a tree. And I am cut now  more deeply than I have ever conceived I want to shut down This pain has permeated me My knees hit the ground consistently in fetal positions Just like the day she cut you out. Vaccuum aspiration is the lable they gave it. Litereally it means to pull you from your purchase as we made it. So now im riddled, a  beast, and dont know if I can take this. Fuck all I do is get wasted I'm'a'break kid Got the means to go to sleep and never wake again. But thats the wrong way I still have fam and friends. All I really know is that I hope I see you again before the end. I love you. Can you hold this please? Dont fold it it needs to be straight to hold the breeze. It;s done, locked. The shock is so heavy I'm a zombie but still walk. I cant get through my walls they're too thick and I cant talk. Stop. See my heart is a shattered block. My splintered thoughts are already in winter. A knought in my gut is tied with iron wrought. Its brought out in me My souls been shot . It spouts out the bleeding hot shroud protecting me from inspecting my feelings. And Im still not seeing clearly. With a sick sense just breathing I can almost hear me start to laugh. It takes me back to as a child Laughing maniacally taking a grown mans hand. I laughed then but not this time Im just frozen and I stand.

  She sits stooped elbows to knees she's pooped tired and pleading for fellows and hellos to stop leaving admired by those she never sees cause she only percieves what she thinks she needs to. Asleep in dreams while scheming the next tree limb to leap to perched she bellows and bleeds too stalking like the walkers on the street do. Consumed by desires of fleeting material doom and from the outside some loom waiting to see if shell wake and then be if the gloom shading her feet will lift abate and then leave a lit space for other mothers sisters and lovers to see. There's this brother and he just throws seed into the wind he loves the lady limbs says he's clean his eyes are dreams for honeys to get lost in. He uses it abusin bitches Dipping his wick in every stitch that opens up to him. Slipping through the cracks of creeper status he looks hell in the mirror and asks what matters he's still alone surrounded soul tattered engulfed in his own traffic jam he realizes he's shattered friends feel like helping but the man is too scattered. And from the outside looking in the paterns aren't splaters the laughter rarely raptures and it's in those moments his soul seems to matter.