She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect
her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put
on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in
caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then
cleaned up the kitchen and left.
Then the ex-husband returned with his new girlfriend,
all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the
house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked
for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were
brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
worked.
People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused
to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they
could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in
half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors
refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the
bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man,
and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of
the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that
she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing
to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting
the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was,
he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the
house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the
papers that very day. She greed, and within the hour,
his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood
smirking as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home... including the
curtain rods.
