1.Bad decisions make good stories.
2. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
3. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text..
4. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it and gotta take a drink. LOL.
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
7. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my address and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
8. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
9. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
10. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.
11. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
12. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to
go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so
incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from, this
shouldn't be a problem....
13. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
14. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
15. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
16. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
cyclists.
17. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
18. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
19. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
