so as you can see, I'm sad.
I posted a personal ad on myspace, as i've done in the past, except for this time I got a TON of feedback.... it was like 5 guys every day for over a week! Now of course most of them were automatic rejections, but it was so nice getting all the attention! There were a few I had narrowed down to.
One of which, Travis, I have already met and in fact we hang out quite frequently. He lives in town, yay, is very very sweet and affectionate, but I'm not at all attracted to him... rather redneck, at least in voice. He has been growing on me lately though, so he's not completely out of the picture, and has so far been a good friend
The one I was MOST interested in was Brennon. He's in Richmond, so not toooo far, but not close either. He's drop dead gorgeous, beautiful, mesmerizing.... god... He was such a perfect gentleman too! Didnt say a damn thing about sex for at least a couple days, and we had very nice conversations, he thought I was very beautiful and things were seeming to go very well. We were planning on meeting ASAP and had things kinda planned out........ and then he didnt get online... didnt message me. I tried sending him a message on myspace, cause I kept seeing him online, but it was almost a week later when I finally got a message back saying something along the lines of... "sorry I havent talked, I've got a lot going on and a lot to think about. Think you're a wonderful person and I enjoy talking to you, but I dont know what else to say, I'm sorry"
................................
so I have no idea what that means, but it seems he's not ready or simply cant really be talking right now... I dont know, but I'm very sad about that
Now the second best guy is James, in Lorton... which is waaaaaay far away in the Chesapeake area. He's very attractive too and very sweet, has started calling me his Evil Angel which I just find adorable, and we've had a lot of fun talking! But he started on a night shift and doesnt get much sleep at ALL, and so its been very rare now that I talk to him... only about once in a week, and that makes me very sad too! He was planning on coming here as well, ASAP, but I dont know how that would work now
Then there was a backup dood that was nice and gentlemanly, but so far from the pics I didnt think he was attractive either.... he's Nick, aka golfer dood, lol. And he hasnt been online in about a week either!!
in fact I havent even been getting responses lately, let alone anyone online to talk to! When a week ago I was fighting them off, literally!
the thing is, when I send them messages on myspace, it says that they've read it, but then they dont message me back! :( makes me think its something with me again. My horrid love and devotion I give so quickly and freely that always seems to dig my grave. I really am trying very hard to be patient and just let things happen, but its so hard when you're so lonely, and I guess that's why I've been going to Travis a lot lately. The wonderful thing about him is that he's not emotionally attached... says it takes him a long time for that, and I'm not attached either... yet... and yet we can be all super cuddly, and hug and kiss and hold hands and be all cute, without worry about any of that.
so I dont know. If anyone reads this, would you give me any kind of suggestions. I know there are 2345986345 reasons they arent as available or dont want to talk, but I dont know. Just makes me sad. Think I need some cleansing or something... redo my spell to attract people to me and maybe they'll come back
but as for now, I'm going to bed, yay
