he threatened to kill himself again. he told me he was going to. since i was feelin the same, my attempt to stop him werent as zealous as they used to be. then i did the bitchest thing and turned it to me. he knows i have a fear of dying alone and that night, i didnt care anymore which meant i was serious. i told him i wasnt going to shangri-la with him, i was going to hell...it seems suitable and i've always known i was going. he said he'd trade his soul for mine and i'd go to heaven. i basically told him not to bother, i deserved wat i got coming and i could take it. the convo continued and he stopped responding so i went to bed.
yesterday he IMed me sayin the gun jammed...
i cant say i've completely given up my will to die either...after all...third time's the charm.
