‘Twas another night before Christmas, he was searching for her gift. It had to be better than socks or something to scratch and sniff.
He'd been pondering choices clear thru from last Sunday. Sheer see through nighties with small, lacy undies.
Lotions and vibrators, shinny ones that hum. Pink ones and chrome ones, guaranteed to beat her drum!
He felt a little stirring, but none of them seemed quite right. So, he set out for more shopping on that cold winters night.
He searched all the stores and all of the malls to, but came up empty handed; wore out his best pair of shoes.
Then while sitting on a bench resting his tired, sore ass, the answer stared back at him from that department store glass.
If the gift could not be found, by fancy or whim, the solution was so simple - the perfect gift was him!
He bathed and he flossed put on his favorite aftershave, the one that said right on the bottle, "this will raise 'er, even from the grave!"
Admiring his nakedness in the mirror, feeling a slight tingle, he couldn't resist reaching down and giving his Christmas bells a jingle.
Then running to the living room calling her on the phone, he whispered, "I've got your gift ready and I'm here all alone."
It seemed only a minute she was knocking at his door. Beat her old record getting there by 3 minutes, maybe four!
When she came in she was a little shocked, seeing his manhood wrapped with a little pink ribbon - No! No, my mistake, it was wrapped with a big manly, blue bow!
It stood up so proud and perfect, why she had to wonder if it was real. She couldn't quite get her hands around the way it made her feel.
She swore it swelled more than 10 times it's normal size that night (but between you and me, I think he had that bow tied a little too tight....)
She had a great time trying out her gift, again and again. He was worried she might wear it out, but couldn't refuse her or her grin.
Then before they both passed out on that Christmas Eve night she whispered, "It's exactly what I wanted, and it fits just right!"
Merry Christmas Y’all!!!! |
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