today i find myself feeling alone in the world. no one is here with me to share the oxygen with my lungs and no one is here with me to watch me breathe. like under a vast sheet of glass that separates me from the others above. looking down at me like a reptile on display in some roadside attraction. they dont hear my words and they cant see my face, only that which they want to pay for will make me worthy of the attention i crave. all i want is to hear the words i never get to hear. all i want is to feel them as they fill my concious path with the feeling i long to feel. it doesnt take much, but today i am alone in this other universe and im not sure that i want to stay. the gray overhead tapistry tells us how to feel so no instructions are needed. why just once cant you stop to read the stupid label and give me what i really want? why is the wall so high that even with the tallest supermax extendo ladder i can barely see over its reaches? i want to climb high and swing from your branches, i want to swim in all that is you. but the sign says your closed and i dont like the words that i find on the sign anyway. just like always, i drive all the way up there, spending valuable time and energy only to be turned away when the doors are locked and kept. its always sunny in there, but i cant seem to squeeze through the slot in the door. if only i was paper. then i could slide in and lay on your cold hard floor waiting for you to come and trample me with your wonderful footsteps and tread. pick me up and throw me away at your house. put me out with the recycle and old stacks of newspapers. turn me into business cards that say how much you hate the world and distribute them to everyone you love. i can take it, i used to be a paperboy.
