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Single White Female

If you have read my previous blogs you will know that I do enjoy my freedom and that is still true about me but lately I would trade all the good times I have had sonce I became single just to be with someone. I'm really tired of seeing couples together. I'm tired of always being around people who has someone there to help them and give them support in all the things that they are doing. I miss being held for no reason at all but the fact that it was me. I hate rainy days now because I miss snuggling on the couch with the person that I am with and watching movies together with no cares about the world outside the house. I'm really tired of feeling used by everyone because I am single. I mean I am 28 years old I'm not getting younger and I do want kids someday. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm almost ready to settle down again but not all the way just yet cause I am far from ready for marriage anytime soon the last one burned ne pretty bad. Hell sometimes to tell the truth I look back on the past and wonder how I actually pull my life off as it was I had no idea what I was doing when I did say I do but I still managed to pull it off and now that I'm single I can't even pull anything off except letting guys run over me still and then wondering why I do it.

You have someone that you really like decide that he wants to dump you for someone else then when they are done with that person they decide to call you up after they told people stuff about your personal life together and everything the still want to call you up and act like nothing has happened and wants you to forget it and go partying with him.... I'm so tired of guys using me that I just want to scream leave me the hell alone at every guy that walks by even though they didn't do anything to me and i hate that I am that way but between cheaters, beaters, and users what is a girl suppose to do... Is there any decent men out there that doesn't think a girl is a arm piece and sex toy and that is it.... If there is please come my waycause i would like to meet you and shake your hand and tell you that you are a gem and you are a treasure to be cherished.......

Life's changes

Your life is one way for a long time then all of a sudden one morning you wake up and the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with doesn't want you anymore. So you have to readjust your life to take care of this whole new world that you know nothing about. You never had to experience it on your own and it's hard to get adjusted to. No matter what you feel like you are alone even if you are with friends and family and you wonder if you will ever find your soul mate cause the one you thought was it wanted you dead just so he could get rid of you for another woman. I know how this is cause I have been going through this for months now and I don't want to get back with my ex but i worry that I will never find anyone else to make me that happy that is as serious about it as I am. I feel that I am not good enough for anyone and that no one will ever love me for who I am just use me for what they can get and that be that. How do you adjust to being alone I mean i enjoy my freedom but I also want someone there when I need a person to talk to and confide in and share stuff with. I just want to have a normal life where I am not depressed all the time and can have fun without wondering if it's all going to end in disaster and I'm tired of having fun and when it's over with then I'm depressed again and in some cases I have put on that fake smile and pretrnded that I was having the time of my life just so no one would know the truth.....When does this end and all the happiness begin again for the broken hearted people of the world......
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