Over 16,532,847 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
I forgot to mention, While Hou$e Hunting I had an accident...driving too fast down a country road, it sounded like I hit an an armadillo, but I didn't, then I noticed smoke in the rearview mirror when I was driving 70, I noticed I lost oil pressure on the highway, turned car off immediately! Thank goodness for a cell tower signal and friends.
"Thank You Kelly & Joe!"
Our first team is the brother pairing of "Joliet" Jake and Elwood Blues, with their police-issue Bluesmobile. They plan to use the prize money to buy out Sister Mary Stigma's St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage and rename it to Our Lady of Buggery and Blues.
In lane two are Thelma Dickinson and Louise Sawyer. Louise has the wheel of the Thunderbird convertible and Thelma, as always, is packing heat. They've apparently given up fishing trips for bigger game.
Lane three holds the stalwarts of the Cannonball Run, J.J. McClure and his sidekick Victor. The zany duo has participated in the original two Runs, and are looking forward to thwarting their competitors once more.
Next up is Speed Racer in the internationally famous MACH 5. Speed and the rest of the Go Racing Team are ready for this next racing challenge, assuming they can figure out where Spritle and Chim Chim went to...
Next, standing beside their orange '69 Dodge Charger the "General Lee" are Bo and Luke Duke, the pride of Hazzard County (Motto: "We got your convenient ramp-like terrain features right here!"). The Dukes plan to use their prize money to pay off legal fees incurred defending against an NAACP lawsuit over the decorations on the General.
Well, that should make for an interesting route. Let's go down to trackside as the race is about to start!
Each season is not only a span of time, which all creatures experience in common, but also a program, a plan of work, a set of tasks and traditions, that belong to each kind more particularly. What those tasks are and how they progress define the season as much as the calendar does.
By the end of July, our own human summer is most fully itself in its sensations, its associations, in the structure it imposes on our lives. Being outdoors, gardening, mowing the grass, getting out on the water , traveling: The activities that summer permits us, and those it demands of us, are now perfectly familar and become the meaning of the season as much as any grand solar interval or pattern of weather. For us, moreover, that meaning has to do with a measure of freedom, of relative ease.
That's our summer, but perhaps it's ours alone. Summer for the birds, for example, though it occupies the same weeks, it is a very different season. It's a hectic, exhausting race to hatch, rear, fledge, and lauch the new generation. By our midsummer, that race is nearly run. The nests are abandoned; they began to fall apart. The young of the year are mostly on their own. A few species-including some of the small songbirds-have already left for the south. When the human summer is fairly getting in top gear, the birds' summer is for all practical purposes, over.
...this co$t more than my small farm. {Giggles} 
$1
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An April day with the grass coming in green and a soft wind blowing among daffodils is a perfect time to seize the leaf rake and set to cleaning up outdoors. Another similar, April day--also perfect. A third? Slightly less perfect. A fourth such day begins to feel like work.
It feels like work because it is work. Leaf raking is a task of a magnitude and a futility rivaling the labor of Sisyphus, the unfortunate inmate of hell in Greek myth who eternally rolled his boulder up the hill, to have it eternally roll back down again. Last year's leaves, pasted to the ground by the snows, cling tenaciously and require vigorous raking. Raked, freed from the earth, they toss themselves gaily in the breeze; they caper and shy about like wild colts. Chasing them with your rake, gathering them into piles, watching as they escape and frisk away, and raking them back to the pile is a job less like bringing order to a disordered setting than it is like herding boisterous and unruly young stock.
You're a kind of drover or wrangler of leaves, with the difference that at the end of your drive there is no railhead where you ship the critters off to Chicago. There is only a task abandoned rather than completed, as you contemplate the many leaves that escaped your rake--and their successors, this year's leaves, multiplying overheads.
The March wind roars
Like a lion in the sky,
And makes us shiver
As he passes by.
When winds are soft,
And the days are warm and clear,
Just like a gentle lamb,
Then spring is here.
"There's nothing coming down the tracks that I can't handle!"
...Happy March 1st!
F.U.B.A.R., a great game at any party. 
Requirements
1 deck of cards
4+ players
Instructions
Shuffle a full deck of cards and scatter them in a pile in the middle of your table.
1. Each player takes a turn at picking one card. They flip over their card, displaying it to everyone. Each card has a different rule as follows:
Ace - Take one drink
2 - Take Two
3 - Take Three
4 - Questions: You look at the person of your choice and ask them a question, they must answer your question with a question and it keeps going until someone screws up. Ex. What is going on? Why do you touch yourself? You don't have to question the person who questioned you either. Make sure to make eye contact.
5 - Give five drinks
6 - I never. This is where the person who flipped the card says something they have never done and anyone who has must drink.
7 - Thumbmaster: This person puts their thumb down on the table whenever they want and the last one to put theirs down drinks. The thumbmaster can do this as many times as he wants until the next seven is picked.
8 - Categories: The first person gives a topic/category and in rotation, everyone else must give a kind. Ex: Toothpaste...Crest....Colgate.....Mentadent..etc.
9 - Rhyme: Everyone must give a word that rhymes with yours. Ex: Shoe...glue...you..etc
10 - Social: Everyone drinks.
Jack - Assholes drink...guys drink.
Queen - Bitches drink....girls drink.
King - Waterfall: This can be extremely hard, depending on your group of drinkers. It goes in order first being the one who picked the card and so on. The first person drinks as much beer as they can continuously and the 2nd person can't stop until they stop, the 3rd person can't stop until the 2nd person and so on. If you have big drinkers at the beginning, it is really difficult.
Utterly botched or confused.
[f(ucked) u(p) b(eyond) a(ll) r(ecognition).] 
