My first camping trip finally happened and I have to say, it was quite a life lesson. Now, before I start getting into what I've learned, let me do this disclaimer:
My life lessons have nothing to do with the fact that I've had fun the entire time. My lessons may or may not be useful to you, so do not try these without seeking a doctor.
Now, here we go.
Alana's Life Lessons On Camping:
1: No matter how early/late you leave, most of the party will end up waiting a millennium for the last three party members to arrive. If you do not have enough cigarettes or water- you might as well start walking over to civilization. They'll show up eventually.
2: Lighting fires, even in a barbecue is a BIG FUCKING NO-NO. It doesn't matter how fucking cold you are, whether or not you're hungry, if the kids are scared of the dark- and if you can't even see. Just don't do it.
3: Do not sleep in an a open field. It sucks. It may seem like a good idea when you're piss-faced drunk, but when you're waking up to the sun in your face at eight in the morning- it's not. And it's bad for the hangover.
4: Bring water, food, ice, cigarettes and beer. Not the left-over stuff that was sitting in the house, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh, and an ice chest might also be a good idea.
5: It is possible to get pissed off at like 4 in the morning and peel out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. Then, you can come back and act like nothing happened. By then, everyone ought to be shitfaced enough to not even notice anything's happened.
6: When you get home, you will be fucking EXHAUSTED. Laying down anywhere in your house is suddenly the most amazing thing in the world.
