Q:
It's been forcibly brought to my attention that I suck at arguing. I'm not nice, and I just suck at it. According to an online quiz I took with a grain of salt, I am a destructive arguer. Needless to say, I have GOT to change this.
I'm going to look up books, articles and such that hopefully can help me. If the stuff I find doesn't help, I will go see a therapist. Do you have anything to recommend?
A: Seems like your trying to get help in this but I think seeing a therapist on an issue like this is not necessary. It's not important in life to be "good" at arguing. And online quizzes (unless made by professionals in love, life and relationships) ARE to be taken with a grain of salt. It's more important to figure out why there is arguing and how to fix the situation. The last thing we should worry about in life and in our relationships is being a good at arguing we need to learn to be good at loving, caring, and having compassion. A really great book if you are wanting to learn different ways to cope and love life and asses situations would be " Don't Sweat The Small Stuff... And It's All Small Stuff" Written by Richard Carlson PH.D. This is a good book to start with. There is more books that he has written for almost any situation I highly recommend you checking it out. Good luck in your quest keep your head up and stay strong.
Q:
I wanna do something special for my boyfriend this year for Valentine's Night
. He's taking me out for dinner and I think it's my favorite restaurant, so no cooking him dinner ideas or dessert.
He doesn't want any material gifts...so here's what I thought:
I was thinking of doing a sexy striptease followed by a sensual full body massage. (He loves that). BUT
I've done that before....
I need ideas..
A: You could try making personal coupons for him to redeem at any time. If you two share an interest of plays, sports or any kind of event you could surprise him with tickets for two. If he is taking care of the dinner you take care of the rest of the night for him. Your striptease Idea is pretty good, you can take that idea and personalize it. Try having about 3-4 different sexy outfits. Put one on go out and model it for him, strip out of that then while you in the buff walk back to the room and put on the other outfit and do the same thing. Once you get to the last outfit and have stripped down you can proceed you give him a dance. then instead of doing a sensual massage you could try making a "dessert" of the night with chocolate, strawberries and whipped cream. Good luck on your sexy V-Day!!
Q:
I've been dating this guy for a month. We use to always cuddle in bed. Lately I've noticed we don't do that anymore. We will be intimate, but when it comes to sleeping I'm the one who takes the initiative to cuddle. Before he was the big spoon, now I'm the big spoon. When I am, he either moves away from my body and just cuddles with a pillow, what should I do?
A:Some guys are not big into cuddling. You have only been dating for one month so maybe he is having commitment issues. Try to sit down with him and explain how you feel and what you need from the relationship if it's going to continue. Set aside at least a half our just to talk. Communication is very important and you two are fresh in the relationship. If you two want to mutually stay together you need to sit and discuss your likes and dislikes together soon, because if you don't then the relationship could take a bad turn that could of been prevented sooner. If he is cuddling his pillow and not you he just might feel insecure in himself or the relationship. He could be troubled by work or family. Guys don't have the same mind set as girls, their minds get distracted easily. I really thing talking to each other is your best approach with this once that happens you two can decide where the relationship is going. Good luck and I hope the best!
