When ever I hear the word addiction the first thing that comes to mind is drugs, alcohol, or any sort of substance that can be abused in some fashion. It is more often than not that this word gets assigned a negative connotation. There are some addictions that can actually produce positive results but by and far addiction is not a positive thing. Some examples can include being addicted to sports or your job or any sort of hobby oriented activity. A productive addiction can be cultivating but it can also be consuming.
An addiction is something that you long and need for and are willing to sacrifice responsibilities and needs in the process of feeding this addiction. So I guess to give this word a negative connotation would be fair. Ok enough background information I should start to elude to my point here. The thing is we have so many things in our lives that we dont even realize that we are addicted to until we dont have that aspect as part of our lives any more. An example of this would be friends, we are addicted to that daily social interaction we have with these people and the feelings associated with having that friend. It isnt really considered an addiction though, its really considered a positive and constructive part of life and I do agree with that for the most part. I enjoy having friends that I can trust and share a mutual respect for. I have had the misfortune of meeting a lot of shady people or people who consider my perspective immoral or just plain wrong. So suffice it to say I dont hold to many people close to my heart because it is not healthy to stay associated with those people who dont respect you and you cant trust. I am straying from my point but I am trying to circle around what I am about to get into. The plain fact is that we feel the need for social interaction and acceptance. We want to be validated by having others desire to be in our presence or to share experiences with us. I dont find any fault in the things I have just mentioned; I feel friendships (when they are healthy and constructive) are extremely valuable and are one of the very few things in life with substance.
What I would to get at though is that often I find that people latch on to others just for the plain fact of having others around for validation. Most of the social circles that I have seen consist of people who have met through some common theme and generally tolerate one another just to get out of the situation what they can. I find that most of the time people are really disinterested in what you have to say and most of the time dont even listen and struggle in anticipation for their time to speak. Its like they assign no merit to what you have to say and they just want the floor to spew whatever it is they think or feel in that moment with no consideration to the other people. I have not met many people that do that blatantly though. I often find that what happens is people will fake their interest and concern and prove it later by quickly changing the subject or talking about themselves or whatever they think is so fantastic about their lives. It is hard to find people who you can consider a true friend but what I want to say is that most people maintain destructive relationships because they are too weak to deal with the notion of not having other people around for validation or someone to vent to. I dont blame people for wanting support; god knows we all need that from time to time. I guess the part of that I have a hard time with is that I couldnt really value any support from anyone I know that doesnt really respect who I am or care for me. I think that for the most part everyone is a social addict and we dont even know it. Its like those times when you write someone off for a good reason but your sitting around bored with nothing to do; its hard to fight that urge to call that person and strike up a conversation and possibly ask them if they would like to hang out or do something. What I want to say is I think people as a whole should try to be stronger and more resolute. People should not depend on others for their validation or to be their audience such that they can maintain or build their egos. Some people use others for pity as well; people will try and make themselves look like such victims in an effort gain more attention and to establish themselves as the central most important thing to others by virtue of trying to make all things concerning others petty in comparison to the trials and tribulations they had to endure.
I have recently had to disassociate myself with some people and it was not easy. Its hard to not talk to the people you have talked to on a frequent basis even if you know they have destructive qualities. But as the days go by it gets easier and the hardest part is making that first step and maintaining your resolve. It is never easy to kick an addiction no matter what it is but when it comes to social addictions; well, for the most part people dont consider it an addiction so it makes it all that much more hard to kick the destructive elements out of your life.
In a nut shell I think friends are very valuable but people seem to pervert the term friend in a selfish way to maintain their peace of mind. I feel that people who latch onto others who hurt them and dont care about them are weak and shallow minded. I have fallen prey to this activity but I have learned from my mistakes and I am doing my best to live in accordance to what I have learned. We will see where that gets me I guess. Anyways that is my rant for the day. Later everyone.
