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May 9 2010...(Happy Mothers Day)
its been a while since the last entry. Things are about too change, once again. I leave tomarrow,heading back out. Will be pretty busy with work and getting settled in, so not going too be around Fu for a time. I want too thank you all for your kindness and support through the tough times, its time like those that you true friends come too the surfice. Ive had some good times here in the recent past and have met even more wonderfull people here, thanks too all the Fam and Staff at the Corner Pocket, if you havnt been in and met the cool people there go to it!. you wont be sad ya did. thank you all for the fun and the air time..i do so love to DJ and doing it with a group like you all is a joy compareable to none. you ALL have made life so much more bearable when the crap got too thick to breath..and again I thank you, all of you both Fam and Friends. sometime people come to fubar not knowing what too expect, I know I did....but i leave , for this short time knowing altho there some people here that are not real, there are "Real" people here and in this world and on here that realy care..."Real", thats the Key folks...Keep it real.
so till next time..il close this little book ive got going here and get back to the lounge and do some DJn for the last time for a while. Stop in Corner Pocket no matter when, or who is on air...it,ll be fun. no kidding...:-D
http://www.fubar.com/lounge/72176
Laters for now..and remember..Keep it real...and just keep on keepin on!
About Me and updates:
I learned this from a good frieng who posts her About Me on a blog in her page, and being mine has turned into a book, I thought it was a good idea. Thanks Angel of Anguish, for being who you are and all the support (if you have already read this and dont want to reread or skip, any updates will be at the botton, dated and in short form....)
About me.... well I'm a average kinda guy I guess, not unlike other average 40 seven or eight year olds Id like to think. not in perfect shape, don't plan to be, but don't drink and smoke myself too death either. A little neurotic at times, even a little moronic at times, ask any Ex. I'm here in Fuland for no other reason then to meet interesting people make new friends and of course... the chuckles, yup Im one of those, everybody knows one, Ill admit it,I'm a chuckle whore.If it looks funny..Ill laugh, some times even if it isn't!I enjoy cruzin around rating pages and pics just for the chuckles. So if ya want a chuckle or two check out my pics there are a couple there.If you rate the pics that's fine I'm not all so big interested in the whole rate ,point thing,I rather see the people that are fans and friends and Family on my page that care about levels and rates and points get all that,its not a big deal to me.People are.
Minuits after i joined fubar i was invited into a lounge and was theroly blown away Fubar is the first solcial networking site i ever was exposed to, i had never even been in a chat site, and i was impressed with what i saw i was fortunate enough to be invited into a very friendly and welcoming lounge that unfortunately no longer is around and was impressed by the warm welcome and the friendly words of help and encouragement from the staff and members there and was impressed with the feeling i got, it seemed I was no longer alone,way out on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, which at the time is where i was, enduring weeks of total solitude which by the most part i enjoyed even though lonely for human company at times, but it felt almost like i was in a actual room,with other people listening to the same music, talking about life and the day and doing what people do in a place of gathering like that wheather online, or oen you can walk through a door to get to, just ...chatting.I also realized that those people on the other of the cyber commection were real people, just like me, human, flesh and blood, hearts and souls, just like me and it didnt matter what thay look liked, what ther skin color was, didnt matter if they were popular, or if they were what sociaty calls pretty or sexy,they were people first,simpley human just like me. I realize that view was a bit delousionel,Ive been on Fubar long enough to be bitten so to speak and know alot more about Social Networking sites,and, people to realize not all is as it seems,I was nieve being new too all of this, and still am to a point,but this is not my first account and the one before was leveled quite a bit higher than this one is,as I said, I have been bitten.and as i said i was fortune enough to have a very good experience in the first lounge i had ever encountered, i know that unfortunately that is not normally the case.But i feel like it could, and should be. I have worked in a few different lounges in my time here, everything from Enforcer to General Manager and Co-Owner, and know that its not only a lot of time,work and tears its also a very volatile place with a personality all of its own, spurned by not only the people who make it work, but by the people that go there. as diverse amongst its peers as people are in ther personality.But theres no reason for someone not to feel comfortable from the moment they come into a lounge,untill they prove themselves not worthy of comfort and respect, which happens from time to time. At the present i am DJing and helping out some friends with there lounge. I am still a bit fresh in the field of DJ but i must say, I enjoy it immensely,to be on air spinnin tunes and chating with ppldoing requests, and playint music everyone enjoys, to me, is joy. theres more to it and about it i also enjoy, but as this is turning into a book..well.Ill save that for another time. What Im getting at in all this is back to the point ,rate, fan thing. I f I miss a rate from you, or too you, or if i miss a comment or of a gift,please dont take it personal, its not, its a matter of me not paying enough attention to that side of Fubar then you as a person, and if you dont rate ,add,ofr friend me its ok, you arnt requered to.
Ive had some big changes in life and location in the past year and a half so I guess I'm still sort of finding my directions,literally.I'm more then likely not anyone's vision of a Knight in shining Armor, but I'm not a looser in aluminum foil either.Have had a lot that I really didn't need and shouldn't of had and couldn't afford and lost it all,Have had even more I could afford and didn't need and still had anyway and its all gone too...and gave a shit load away along the way and regret none of it.I cant say Ive done everything right up till now, but haven't gotten it all wrong either, I live lots, have loved and have been loved unconditionally,have touched some hearts and have been touched by some wonderful ones,and have met some incredible people along the way,and some incredible friends here on Fubar,and that is the sweetest thing in life.You my friends are what keeps me from falling down and never getting back up,from slipping into that dark place and giving up for good, each of you are a treasure i will keep in my heart till my last breath.I know I dont show it as much as i should some times,when I get so wrapped up in you own uselessness but i truly do cherish each and every one of you. My biggest fear is that my end will come with out any of you knowing how i really feel,so i am putting it in words here, and if you happen to come here and read this while I am here Im glad you did. If by chance I am not,well then you know now how I feel,and,again thank you.
Now I pause for a short time along the road of life and look back over the convoluted landscape that makes up my back trail, hitch up my jeans, adjust my hat, grin a little and think "well I made it this far...might as well see what up ahead." And that's me on this section of the road right about now. And as I turn and continue the journey you can faintly hear me sing "...what a loooonge strange trip its been."
Albert Cemus once wrote:
"Don't walk in front of me,I may not follow.Don't walk behind me,I may not lead,walk beside me ans be my friend."
He was the recipient of the Nobel prize for literature in 1947,and although I don't agree with all his phlolosiphys or political views i do agree with that quote.
Tuesday, March 11 2010:
"Ive had some big changes in life and location in the past year and a half so I guess I'm still sort of finding my directions...."
and as we all know the only thing for sure in life is change, and soon there will be some in my life again, as too what they are or when they'll come about, all i can say at this moment is I dont know the specifics only the general and I have no Idea when anychanges will take place but I am positive that they will be in the very near future. here recently it was brought to my attention that I was not on fubar and/or avoiding contact with my friends; and yes in part I see it more then likley is correct, I guess you can say Im slowly drawing away, because of the fact that more likely them not I will loose access to the internet, and the only contact i have with my friends,as some of you know. I have been battling with my back here recently, and altho its not an excuse, it is a reason i havent been around alot or when it looks like i am..my account is loged in, there ae many times I am just parked in the lounge,maybe listening to the tunes, and possably not even home. and please no one take it personal, its only way i can see how to do it, to say good bye if infact that does have to happen, even for a short time. I realize it is probebly not the best or most rightous way, but as I said, the only way too know. I will say this..when the changes do come about, i know Ill atleast have time to update it here...just incase i seem to disappear. if you havent read the whole about me....since i moved it here, you may want o. there were some updates done prioer to posting it in a blog.
March 13 2010:
well...as it stands this is more then likely the last update i will be doing for an undeterming time. Things have excellerated and happened faster them I had antisapated. As of tomarrow, I will be homeless. it is no fault of mine nore is it of the people who have been gracious enoughto let me stay in there basement to this point. But it seems that the poewers that be, meaning the city building and housing athority would rather see a person homeless and sleep out in the open somewhere then a place that is atleast warm and dry and safe. Again i want to say that this is in no part caused by the people living in the home above, they have been nothing but kind and gracious in helping me thus far, and if you are reading this,you or someone who knows who it is that lives there i want to say thankyou for everything you have done for me in these past few months.
i have no idea when things will take a turn for the better, but u do know i will hold on to my laptop since it is the only means of comunication i have and will be back as soon as i can. just remember I hold each and everyone of you in my hearts, it has been my pleasure to have kown each and every one of you.Im so sorry and saddened mure then i can put into words at this time and dont quite know what too say,except that these tears that are making it so hard too see right now are not from the knowlage of my own plite but are shed in the knowladge that these word just may be the last i will ever leave for you.but i am so happy to have had the oppertunity to know you and to have walked the path with you even for this short time.and remember...when you finally come into the clearing at the end of the path...i will be there waiting with a warm smile and open arms.Please keep me i your thoughts, that way ill always be alive in your hearts. and finally to you that one so very special friend, you know who you are...ill miss you with all my heart, thinl of me , as you allways have. i hope Voodoo will keep you rememberig the short time we had.
and with that i will close and say the words that tear my heart to pieces,
Good Bye, and may your best years be the ones ahead.
Mac.
March 15 2010:
Thanks to a good friend here localy I have the opertunity to have access tp the net from time to time...and I say thank you very much. So i will beable to come in from time to time and do updates check messages and DJ. ill be spending most of the time i am online in the lounge DJing (No Players Club) so most know that i dont the ability to cruz Fu much so if i miss a hello, or miss answering a comment please dont take it personal..soon things will settle down and ill be here more and will return al the luv. I want to say Thank you , each and every one of you for the words of inceragement and the prayer, it helps me more them you will ever know.and it once again it shows just how valuable good friends are, and how many of you are out there...again thanks cuz you are truley lifesavers. Ill do my best to keep ypu all updated and Ill do my beast to answer any messages. ok..its back to No Players Club for me..stop and say hi real quick once and a while...might even catch me On Air.
