BigRig's blog: "About Me..."

I have so much pent up rage and anger and so little time to vent it properly on this blog. Literally every fucking day ten things piss me off and are worthy of a good rant. But who has time for this shit? So I’m going to down about a quart of tequila and let the discontent flow.

The only thing that annoys me more than Apple computer propaganda is anything related to Twitter. Twittering on your iPhone while drinking a PBR in your skinny leg jeans is the hipster idiocy trifecta. So a few seconds for a Twitter micro-rant (how fucking ironic) and then on to Apple. It should be obvious to you that Twitter is literally the dumbest human trend ever. If you use Twitter for anything other than to con hot dumb chicks into honking your bobo then you deserve to be quarantined with your other Twitter-Tards on a barren island for life, sentenced to speaking in 140 character increments while you play LiteBrite with each other for eternity.

So I swallowed my hatred of all things trendy and gave Apple a legit shot in my quest for a new laptop. I looked at HP, Dell and Apple laptops. No matter which way I spun it the Apple computer cost three times as much as an HP / Dell with similar hardware. For the cost of one Apple I could buy an HP laptop with the same specs as the Apple and a Dell desktop with better specs and have a pile of money left over.  On top of that every single useful software product I could buy for the Apple I can also buy for the PC. However the reverse isn’t true; not all useful PC software has an Apple version. In fact the most important software I need to do my job doesn’t run on Apple unless you run Windows XP on your Apple (yes this can actually be done though software called VMWare) so what you end up with essentially is a PC that costs three times as much as is should using proprietary hardware that you can’t modify. (But it’s pretty!)

To summarize; the Apple does less fucking stuff than the PC but costs three times as much… or rather it can do exactly the same stuff as a PC as long as you run Windows on your Apple which means that at that point your Apple is a PC that you paid way too much for. Here is my advice cut out the middleman save yourself some dough and get a PC.  They cost less.  They can do more.  And contrary to the cute “I’m a Mac” commercials PCs are reliable.

They only reasons I can think of for buying an Apple;

1. You Are a Fucking Idiot; you believe everything corporate marketing pumps into your empty head. You think the Apple guy is “cute” and the PC Guy is frumpy and gross.

2. You are a graphic designer who listened to all the other graphic designers that told you “Apple is the only computer you can do great creative work on.”  While ignoring the obvious fact that the entire Adobe Suite runs just as well on the PC.

3. You are a hopelessly trendy hipster asshole who’s self esteem is so low you’ll do literally anything that the crowd tells you to so that you can be liked. (Pssst: They don’t really like you)

4. You are an open source hippie. You hate Microsoft and think Bill Gates is mean. While ignoring that Apple’s licenses are more restrictive than Microsoft, Apple products are more closed to development and modification than PCs and Steve Jobs had Apple legally threaten a guy who was making fun of him. (Google: Fake Steve Jobs)

5. You think it’s still 1996 and hate that Windows 95 SP1 blue screens twice a day.

6. You’re a Rush Limbaugh ditto head and believe everything that the fat man says including his constant shameless plugging of Apple products and as soon as you move into a bigger trailer you’re getting a Mac.

7. You’re a software developer who wants to automatically eliminate half of the useful development tools from your repertoire.

8. You think that you’re going to make $5M selling the next great iPhone Fart Application.

9. You are so retarded that you think that iTunes and the iPod won’t work with a PC.

10. You’re unemployed and need a $3,500 fashion accessory for your “sitting at Starbucks all fucking day because I don’t have a job” ensemble.

Dissociative Disorder Dissociation is a state of acute mental decompensation in which certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories are compartmentalized, diagnosed mostly in individuals with a history of trauma.[1][2] Dissociative disorders are commonly precipitated by overwhelming stress.[3] This stress may be provoked by seeing or experiencing an accident, a disaster or a traumatic event, including sexual abuse.[3][4] ..tr> ..table> The French psychiatrist Pierre Janet (1859-1947) initially coined the term "splitting" in his book L'Automatisme psychologique. There, he emphasized its role as a defensive mechanism employed in response to psychological trauma. While he considered dissociation an initially effective defense mechanism that protects the individual psychologically from the impact of overwhelming traumatic events, a habitual tendency to dissociate would likely be a marker of a more pronounced psychopathology. Carl Jung described pathological manifestions of dissociation as special or extreme cases of the normal operation of the psyche. This structural dissociation, opposing tension, and hierarchy of basic attitudes and functions in normal individual consciousness is the basis of Jung's Psychological Types.[5] He theorized that dissociation is a natural necessity for consciousness to operate in one faculty unhampered by the demands of its opposite. Attention to dissociation as a clinical feature has been growing in recent years as knowledge of post-traumatic stress disorder increased, due to interest in dissociative identity disorder and the multiple personality controversy, and as neuroimaging research and population studies show its relevance.[6] Diagnosis The DSM-IV considers symptoms such as depersonalization, derealization and psychogenic amnesia to be core features of dissociative disorders.[7] However, in the normal population dissociative experiences that are not clinically significant are highly prevalent, with 60% to 65% of the respondents indicating that they have had some dissociative experiences.[8] The SCID-D is a structured interview used to assess and diagnosis dissociation. Relation to trauma and abuse Dissociation has been described as one of a constellation of symptoms experienced by some victims of multiple forms of childhood trauma, including physical abuse and sexual abuse.[9][4] This is supported by studies which suggest that dissociation is correlated with a history of trauma.[10] Dissociation appears to have a high specificity and low sensitivity to having a self-reported history of trauma.[11] Symptoms of dissociation resulting from trauma may include depersonalization, psychic numbing, disengagement, or amnesia regarding the events of the abuse. It has been hypothesized that dissociation may provide a temporarily effective defense mechanism in cases of severe trauma; however, in the long term, dissociation is associated with decreased psychological functioning and adjustment.[4] Other symptoms sometimes found along with dissociation in victims of traumatic abuse (often referred to as "sequelae to abuse") include anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, somatization, depression, chronic pain, interpersonal dysfunction, substance abuse, self-multilation and suicidal ideation or actions.[12][4][9] These symptoms may lead the victim to erroneously present the symptoms as the source of the problem.[9] Chu et al. (1999) reported that child abuse, especially chronic abuse starting at early ages, was related to high levels of dissociative symptoms in a clinical sample,[13] including amnesia for abuse memories.[14] Briere & Runtz (1988) found increased levels of dissociation in a non-clinical sample of adult women who had been sexually abused by a significantly older person prior to age 15.[15] Another non-clinical study by the same authors found that a history of childhood sexual abuse and especially a history of childhood physical abuse were predictive of dissociative symptoms, though they stated that the validity of the scale used to measure these symptoms was yet to be proven.[16] The level of dissociation has been found to be related to reported overwhelming sexual and physical abuse.[17] When severe sexual abuse (penetration, several perpetrators, lasting more than one year) had occurred, dissociative symptoms were even more prominent.[17] The amount of dissociation that follows directly after a trauma predicts posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).[2] Individuals that are more likely to dissociate during a traumatic event are considerably more likely to develop chronic PTSD. [2] One study found that subjects who experienced early and/or recent trauma were more dissociative [18] In a review of clinical literature, Merckelbach and Muris (2001) argue that a causal link between trauma and dissociation has not been established and may not be true, due what they describe as "at best, modest" correlations in the literature, possibly obscured results due to uncontrolled confounding variables, and possible positive bias towards self-reports of trauma resulting due to symptoms of dissociation. [13] Fantasy proneness, which is itself linked to self-reported abuse, is at least as predictive of measured dissociation as self-reported trauma.[19][20][21] Merckelbach et al. (2004) questions the accuracy of self-reports of trauma by fantasy prone individuals, pointing to studies that found fantasy proneness to be related to overendorsement of implausible answers in surveys.[22]

I was recently diagnosed with this. Here is a brief synopsis. Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood, clinically referred to as mania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. These episodes are normally separated by periods of normal mood, but in some patients, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, known as rapid cycling. Extreme manic episodes can sometimes lead to psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations. The disorder has been subdivided into bipolar I, bipolar II, Bipolar NOS, and cyclothymia based on the type and severity of mood episodes experienced. Also called bipolar affective mood disorder until recently, the current name is of fairly recent origin and refers to the cycling between high and low episodes; it has replaced the older term manic-depressive illness coined by Emil Kraepelin (1856–1926) in the late nineteenth century.[1] The new term is designed to be neutral, to avoid the stigma in the non-mental health community that comes from conflating "manic" and "depression." Onset of symptoms generally occurs in young adulthood. Diagnosis is based on the person's self-reported experiences, as well as observed behavior. Episodes of illness are associated with distress and disruption, and a high risk of suicide, especially during depressive episodes.[2] Studies suggest that genetics, early environment, neurobiology, and psychological and social processes are important contributory factors. Psychiatric research is focused on the role of neurobiology, but a clear organic cause has not been found. Bipolar disorder is usually treated with medications and/or counseling. The mainstay of medication are a number of drugs termed 'mood stabilizers', in particular lithium and sodium valproate; these are a group of unrelated medications used to prevent relapses of further episodes. Antipsychotic medications, sometimes called neuroleptics, in particular olanzapine, are used in the treatment of manic episodes and in maintenance. The benefits of using antidepressants in depressive episodes is unclear. Depending on the jurisdiction, in serious cases where there is risk to self or others involuntary commitment may be used; these cases generally involve severe manic episodes with dangerous behaviour or depressive episodes with suicidal ideation. Hospital stays are less frequent and for shorter periods than they were in previous years.[citation needed] Some studies have suggested a significant correlation between creativity and bipolar disorder. Though studies consistently show a positive correlation between the two, the exact nature of the relationship between the disorder and creativity is still relatively unclear.[3][4][5] One study indicated increased striving for and attainment of goals and achievements was correlated with onset of manic symptoms.[6] While the disorder affects people differently, individuals with bipolar disorder tend to be much more outgoing and daring than individuals without bipolar disorder. The disorder is also found in a large number of people involved in the arts. It is an ongoing study as to why many creative geniuses had bipolar disorder. Course Bipolar disorder is often a cyclic illness where people periodically exhibit elevated (manic) and depressive episodes. Most people will experience a number of episodes, averaging 0.4 to 0.7 a year with each lasting three to six months, although some will experience only a single mood episode.[7][8] Late adolescence and early adulthood are peak years for the onset of the illness.[9][10] These are critical periods in a young adult's social and vocational development, and they can be severely disrupted by disease onset. Rapid cycling, defined as having four or more episodes per year, is found in a significant fraction of patients with bipolar disorder. It has been associated with greater disability or a worse prognosis, due to the confusing changeability and difficulty in establishing a stable state. Rapid cycling can be induced or made worse by antidepressants, unless there is adjunctive treatment with a mood stabilizer.[11][12] The definition of rapid cycling most frequently cited in the literature is that of Dunner and Fieve: at least four major depressive, manic, hypomanic or mixed episodes are required to have occurred during a 12-month period.[13] There are references that describe very rapid (ultra-rapid) or extremely rapid[14] (ultra-ultra or ultradian) cycling. One definition of ultra-ultra rapid cycling is defining distinct shifts in mood within a 24–48-hour period. Major depressive episode Main article: Major depressive episode Signs and symptoms of the depressive phase of bipolar disorder include: persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, isolation and/or hopelessness, disturbances in sleep and appetite, fatigue and loss of interest in usually enjoyed activities, problems concentrating, loneliness, self-loathing, apathy or indifference, depersonalization, loss of interest in sexual activity, shyness or social anxiety, irritability, chronic pain (with or without a known cause), lack of motivation, and morbid/suicidal ideation.[15] In severe cases, the individual may become psychotic, a condition also known as severe bipolar depression with psychotic features. Manic episode Main article: Manic episode Mania is generally characterized by a distinct period of an elevated, expansive, or irritable mood state. People commonly experience an increase in energy and a decreased need for sleep. A person's speech may be pressured, with thoughts experienced as racing. Attention span is low and a person in a manic state may be easily distracted. Judgment may become impaired; sufferers may go on spending sprees or engage in behavior that is quite abnormal for them. They may indulge in substance abuse, particularly alcohol or other depressants, cocaine or other stimulants, or sleeping pills. Their behavior may become aggressive or intrusive. People may feel they have been "chosen", are "on a special mission", or other grandiose or delusional ideas. Sexual drive may increase. At more extreme phases, a person in a manic state can begin to experience psychosis, or a break with reality, where thinking is affected along with mood.[16] Many people in a manic state experience severe anxiety and are very irritable (to the point of rage), while others are euphoric and grandiose. In order to be diagnosed with mania according to DSM-IV a person must experience this state of elevated or irritable mood, as well as other symptoms, for at least one week, less if hospitalisation is required. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "A manic episode is diagnosed if elevated mood occurs with three or more of the other symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for 1 week or longer. If the mood is irritable, four additional symptoms must be present."[17] Hypomanic episode Main article: Hypomanic episode Hypomania is generally a less extreme state than mania, and people in the hypomanic phase generally experience fewer symptoms of mania than those in a full-blown manic episode. During an episode, one might feel an uncontrollable impulse to laugh at things he or she does not normally find funny. The duration is usually also shorter than in mania. This is often a very "artistic" state of the disorder, where there is a flight of ideas, extremely clever thinking, and an increase in energy. Although hypomania does not last as long as a manic episode, and most cases do not involve all manic symptoms, this doesn't mean such episodes are completely less severe. Mixed affective episode Main article: Mixed state (psychiatry) In the context of bipolar disorder, a mixed state is a condition during which symptoms of mania and clinical depression occur simultaneously (for example, agitation, anxiety, aggressiveness or belligerence, confusion, fatigue, impulsiveness, insomnia, irritability, morbid and/or suicidal ideation, panic, paranoia, persecutory delusions, pressured speech, racing thoughts, restlessness, and rage).[18]

All I have to say is be kind to your fellow citizens or friends. Even if they suffer from a treated or untreated mental illness. The stigma attached to my illness is horrifying and I'm tired of hiding it. So few of my real life friends know about it. Those that do, treat me with dignity and respect, not a freak. I thank them for this greatly. They would be Tamara B(who is a hero to me) and David(a hero to me for fighting for my country). In short be compassionate(and I mean in the adjective sense and NOT THE TRANSITIVE VERB sense)to your friends, family or joe blow with a mental illness. Don't fear it. Learn about it, understand it and you will understand us. Ian