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sick of all this shit

im sick of giving a fuck about anything any more. ive been talking to recruiters and figuring out a way to get back in. they say if i can produce a clean bill of health that i can get back to my old unit. i just cant take anymore of the shit here at home anymore but im still wishing i had a reason to stay for a particular person. but thats not gonna happen. might as well just say fuck it and go back to war...

reality

the line between whats real and what isnt is blurred sometimes. sometimes it because we wanted it that way, and sometimes its because our minds trigger it as a defense mechanism because reality threatens to eat us alive. in reality we deal with past, present, and future. in the our minds theres only one realm. so we choose the path of least resistance. in reality this world is colder than anyone of us want it to be. where the worst the world has to offer is in your face and threatening everything you've ever known and loved could be taken from you in an instant. what was in my mind was that i had found a woman that i loved right here on fubar. the reality is that she wont have anything to do with me anymore. ive lost her, ive lost my job, and right now things arent going too well at home. so i guess the reality of it is that i belong back in on a battlefield and no where else. happiness was an illusion. i was put here to live and die fighting for what i think is right. i was stupid to think i was worthy of happiness, and blind to think i found it. with that said i am done. im going back into the marines. because thats the harsh reality of my life and this is how i choose to live my life in a world so cold..............
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