So I got this bulletin a like an hour or so ago right...entitled "A REAL BOYFRIEND/MAN".
Upon reading the bulletin, it occurred to me that it was not written by a man. i mean no way a guy will come up with those lame responses..so i decide to add my own input after the initial one. The initial response is in the first bracket and my response comes after that.
When she stares at your mouth
[ Kiss her ] nah..what you do is [ lick your lips. make ’em more sensual]
When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]nah..what you do is [grab her arm and twist it behind her back. apply some pressure...that will teach her a lesson. never hit a man]
When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ] nah...what you you do is [walk out on her and give her the silent treatment for a couple of weeks]
When she’s quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ] nah..what you do is [ turn on the t.v and put on sports channel. believe me, that is the only time you will enjoy that channel without disturbance]
When she ignores you
[ Give her your attention ] nah..what you do is [ hit your game console...think about it..no disturbance...madden will never be sweeter]
When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ] nah..what you do is [you let her be...what other opportunity is there for you to call your boy up and engage in useless banter]
When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she’s beautiful ] nah...what you do is [ you let her know she is an eye sore...in plain words tell her this: DAMN GURL GO AND FIX YOURSELF UP]
When you see her start crying
[ Just hold her and dont say a word ] nah..what you do is [pass her the toilet roll and bounce...trust me you don’t need that unwanted emotional breakdown. that is why she has friends]
When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ] nah...what you do is [ you let her keep moving. you can use that opportunity to eyes wander...let your eyes roam. size up a couple of ladies, you deserve it]
When she’s scared
[ Protect her ] nah..what you do is [ you laugh it up..let her know she is a weakling. exploit that weakness]
When she steals your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night] nah..what you do is [ demand that she returns it. no ifs no buts. there is a reason it is your favorite and if she doesn’t call it quits]
When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ] nah..what you do is [ you let her know you are not up for that. let her understand your ego is battered. have her understand no jokes allowed period you are the man and you are to be respected]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time
[ Reassure her that everything is okay ] nah..what you do is [ ignore her..what reassurance..blah..uphold this motto: to each is own.]
When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ] nah..what you do is [ you ask her if she’s unfaithful, once there is doubt it goes both ways..if you are lying she is lying]
When she says that she likes you
[ SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!! ] nah..what you do is [ask her to prove it..tell her that you want to quit working and she needs to take care of you. so if she has to work two to three jobs to meet your needs so be it...if not she don’t like you..she just fucking with you]
When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ] nah..what you do is [pull away...P.D.A be damned. we men are genetically coded to roam about with our hands free ...hence the reason we don’t carry a hand bag. we put our wallet in our pocket. we swing our hands when we walk. the only thing that belongs in our hand is a tool]
When she bumps into you with her big ass hips
[ Bump into her back and make her laugh ]nah..what you do is [smack that booty...and let her know she’s about to unleash the beast within]
When she tells you a secret
[ Keep it safe and untold ]nah..what you do is [ you wait until you two are beefing then unleash her secrets...chances are it has something to do with her friends..you call ’em up and let them know what she’s up to]
When she looks at you in your eyes
[ Dont look away until she does ] nah..what you do is [ look away..she’s looking for some sort of reassurance. listen bucko no one knows tomorrow..so don’t make promises you can’t keep]
When she says it’s over
[ She still wants you to be hers ] nah..what you do is [ call your boys and head to the strip joint..good riddance...the first young thing that you come across nail that little hussy..]
When she reposts this bulletin
[ She wants you to read it ] nah..what you do is [ read it, but don’t respond to it. and if she ask if you read it deny it...and if she wants you to read it, make an excuse till the damn thing is no longer on your bulletin board]
- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything. nah..what you do is [ hang up the phone...shhh..like she don’t know that cell phone bills are a pain in the ass]
- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go...nah what you do is [ you try to talk her out of being mad..and make her understand that you don’t understand why she is mad..and if she don’t like it she can step..the break will do you good]
- When she says she’s ok dont believe it, talk with her...nah..what you do is [you let her be..you are no psychic..you don’t read minds..if someone is okay, ain’t nothing much you can do for that person..so it’s peace!]
- because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you...nah [with all her emotional problems, if you remember her in 10 yrs you got problems]
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her nah..what you do is [ you call her when you remember or when you have the time to do so. what is the need to keep vigil over her b-day..she’s growing old anyways..that day is a constant reminder for you to drop her like a bad habit and get a younger gurl]
- Treat her like she’s all that matters to you....[most def..make sure she knows her role..do the dishes, the laundry and take care of you]
- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick...nah what you want to do is [ convince her to go to the hospital. and if she does not want to go, there is nothing like nyquil make sure she takes more than recommended she will sleep right through the night...to be on the safe side, make sure you also use some. just in case she keeps coughing and whatever else she feels like doing..you will sleep like a baby]
- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid. nah... what you do is [ it’s times like this you want to take the dog out for a walk or go wash your car]
- Give her the world....[what crock...like the world is attainable..listen if she can’t settle for your bus pass and food stamps...she’s the wrong one]
- Let her wear your clothes..[hells no...like you can wear hers..if the action can’t be reciprocated, no deal!]
- When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her. nah..what you do is [ stay tha heck away. it’s times like this that she becomes clingy and emotionally shallow]
- Let her know she’s important...[but of cause. she is there to cater to your needs]
- Kiss her in the pouring rain. [yeah right..why not ask to kiss her upside down in the pouring rain..plzzzzzz...rain=get wet=catch cold..now what logic is there to kiss in the rain?]
- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is
"Who’s ass am I kicking baby?" nah what you do is [ ask what tha hell did you do this time..rule 1 never get your ass whooped for any woman who is not your mom or sister]
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you. [i bet she stops buggin you after she reads this :))]
Kiss you...[you can forget this too]
Love you...[eh..i doubt you will be her fondest person right about now]
Text you...[ yeah with the words" are you serious about those answers in capital letter]
Guys post as: "I’d be this Boyfriend.
"
Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend" {this is the way real men behave}
