A Question to Ponder
A friend asked me today, “What would you change about your life if you could go back in time and change things?” I sat there and started thinking over my life and as I thought about it, a thousand different things came to my mind. I thought of my childhood how my family treated me like I didn’t belong and how they would avoid me all the time. I thought about my teen years and how horrible they were due to being raped nearly every other day by my oldest brother. I thought about the death of my dad and how his death practically destroyed the family. I thought of my abusive marriage and the way it ended. I thought of the things I went through after the divorce and how I was the one that cared for my mother. I thought about my mother’s death and how devastating that was to the family. As I sat there thinking of all the bad things that had happened in my life, I started thinking, if my family hadn’t have treated me so badly when I was a child, I probably wouldn’t have known how to amuse myself when I was alone. I thought of all the heartache of the rapes I endured during my teenage years and thought if that
hadn’t happened, would I have the compassion and understanding of what some people go through when they have bad experiences. Then I thought of the abusive controlling marriage I had, and there was no way I would change that, because it gave me the two most precious things in the world, my children, they are my reason for living. The care of my mother helped prepare me for what I am now studying and gave me an inside look at both sides of the medical field. When my mother died I saw that I was strong enough to actually take control of a bad situation and make things at least bearable for those around me. It was then that I realized, I wouldn’t change anything in my life that everything that has happened to me, that was terrible, has made me a better and stronger person. So I looked at her and said, “You know I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.” Now I wondered what you would change about your life.
Joanne Anderson © February 7, 2007
