Robin's blog: "A nice story"

Friendship Sometimes in life, You find a special friend, Someone who changes your life Just by being a part of it Someone who makes you laugh Until you can't stop Someone who makes you believe That there really is good in the world Someone who convinces you that There really is an unlocked door Just waiting for you to open it. This is a Forever Friendship When you're down, And the world seems dark and empty, Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit And makes that dark and empty world Suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through The hard times, the sad times, And the confusing times. If you turn and walk away, Your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, Your forever friend guides you And cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand And tells you that everything Is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, You feel happy and complete, Because you need not worry. You have a forever friend for life, And forever has no end. "Two are better than one... If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV, NLT)

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER AND ONE A SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER ,SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM." A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILEPHONE ,I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND." THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDERWOMAN FINALLY SAID......... " WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT... I'M GETTING A FAX " !!

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." A young son asked, "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son." Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late." Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive." "A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death!" The Broken Mower When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. Moral to this story: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband. AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus......so shut the hell up."

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.LOL

RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don't let friends take home ugly men Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ Make love, not war. -Hell, do both GET MARRIED! Women's restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Revolution Books New York , New York . If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Men's restroom House of Representatives, Washington , DC Express Lane: Five beers or less Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ You're too good for him. Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills ,CA No wonder you always go home alone. Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills ,CA ~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~ A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime _____________________________ SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. _____________________________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________ HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________ LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

Body: Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived > barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a > hat > and Mom in a housedress, lawn mower in one hand, and dishtowel in the > other. > It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, > screen > door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep. >> > >> > >> > It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that > re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste > meant > affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more. >> > >> > >> > But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the >> > warmth > of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that > sometimes > there isn't any more. >> > >> > >> > Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes > away...never to return. So... While we have it ... it's best we love it... > And care for it... And fix it when it's broken..... And heal it when it's > sick. >> > >> > >> > This is true... For marriage.... And old cars.... And children with bad > report cards..... Dogs and cats with bad hips.... And ageing parents.... > And > grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth > it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate > we grew up with. >> > >> > >> > There are just some things that make life important, like people we >> > know > who are special.... And so, we keep them close! >> > >> > >> > I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper,' so I've sent >> > it > to the people I think of in the same way... Now it's your turn to send > this > to those people that are 'keepers" in your life. Send it back to the > person > that sent it to you if they too are a keeper. >> > >> > >> > Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know > they are always there >> > >> > >> > People are made to be Loved and Things are made to be Used >> > >> > >> > There is so much confusion in this World because People are being Used > and Things are being Loved. >> > >> > >> > >> > 'The will of God will >> > never take you >> > where the Grace of God will not protect you.

SIGN IN A PHILADELPHIA STORE WINDOW - "WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ALQAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!" This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign. You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign. Answer: A Funeral Home (Who said morticians had no sense of humor?) You gotta love it!!! God Bless America

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old). Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The Six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy. Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!