With my hormones finally dropping to a 1...the signal of the end of my miscarriage was finally at hand. I really wanted to wait for the ever elusive zero but I was told a 1 is about the same. So the chapter of my life begins post miscarriage #2. I am at a really odd place now. My body is back to normal for the most part though there is lingering pelvic pain from time to time but I think the mental scars are going to take the longest to heal. I worry about the pelvic pain but realize that most likely it is to be expected going through the miscarriage as long as I did. I am terrified that something is wrong with me and that we will never be able to get pregnant again. Mike keeps telling me we will but that it will take time. I also think that there is a part of me that is afraid of sex because sex makes babies and babies can be lost. I am SOOO afraid of making that venture again though the pain in my stomach has not helped matters much. I am thinking about making a dr appt soon to be looked over once and for all to see if things seem to be back the way they should be. My dr should be back from maternity leave soon if she isnt back yet and we will talk more about what next. Mike and I are both ready to start trying again but it would seem that my stomach hurting makes me want to avoid it all together and I want to know what this pain is from and how long it will be here. I think just getting my cycles back to normal and having a normal sex life again is the next step because without it...we will get nowhere.
