Outlaw Knight's blog: "Just some of my poetry"

In honor of Mother's Day and my mother, I am posting this story I wrote about my mother some years ago. It was published in a book similar to "Chicken Soup for the Soul". Thank you Mom!

A Mother’s Undying Love

I can still remember the day my mother loaded me and my two sisters into the car. She was very excited and happy, and we were all wondering why. When one of us asked, she enthusiastically replied, “My hair is back” as she pulled off her wig. We were shocked when she did pull it off because it had been so long since we had seen her without one on. Due to her pride, she never allowed us to see her without it. Even though it was still what I would call “man” short, it was hers, and she was ecstatic. As we drove down the road, I watched my mother looking so proud and happy, and then noticed tears coming down her face. When one of us asked why she was crying, she replied, “I’m just so happy, baby, I’m just so happy!”

            It took a few years for me to really understand and appreciate what it was that had made her so happy that it would make her cry that day.

            It was years later when she told us that after having been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time, the doctors had given her six months to live. She knew it would have been very difficult for us to take, much less understand completely. I know I could not imagine being told that I had a limited time here on earth, especially now that I have two beautiful children of my own. And I certainly cannot fathom the responsibility she took upon herself to carry the load like she did, taking care of three kids as a single mother and working a full-time job. Plus, she was not sure if she would be there the next day for us or not.

            But she never let on that she could not handle it or that she was as sick as she really was. Sure, we saw the fatigue that one gets while undergoing chemotherapy, and the getting sick. But she never once showed us a true weakness in her armor. She never complained in front of us or acted as though she wanted our pity.

            No, she stood strong and made it seem like chemotherapy was a fairly easy thing to manage, even though we all know better. At the time, we simply thought she was doing what any single mother should do, take care of us. What we did not realize was that she was dealing with so much more than the average person will ever have to endure in her/his lifetime.

            We did not see the pain and agony that the chemotherapy was causing to her body. She would not allow it. My mother just kept on living her life as she had before. A life of fun, love, courage and most importantly, one filled with God. She did not do these things to be tough; she did them out of the immense love she had for her three children and the faith that God would see her through it all. She knew we would be lost in this world without her and that we needed her to stick around and the good Lord did as well.

            She told us since her recovery that she drew a lot of her strength from us kids. I find that ironic, because looking back I can see that the strength and courage I have to this day is because of her.

            She showed us how to live our lives even in the face of adversity. That was to live life full of joy, happiness and full of the Lord Almighty. Many times I have told her that she is the “Wind Beneath My Wings”.

            She gave us so much love and showed us so much courage and strength that we can only hope  to have half the grace and composure she had, should any of us, God forbid, ever be placed in that same or similar circumstance.

            I also know now, looking back, what she meant when she said she was just so happy. It had nothing to do with her hair growing back, but with the fact that she was even still here with us.

            The happiness was also from the fact that she had made it through what the doctors had said she could not. She took great comfort in knowing that the dear Lord above had watched over her and answered her prayers to let her stay here on earth with her children. And I guess she was somewhat happy to have her hair back as well, but I know that she could have remained bald the rest of her life and it would not have mattered. She was with her kids and had God in her life and that was all she needed.

            This story is just an inkling of the type of person my mother is. I could fill a book with the things that my mother did for us kids out of love. There are no words or enough time or space to tell what she means to me and to others. She is truly a wonderful and unique person. She has never forgotten what gets us through this life, to keep God first and foremost and to love unconditionally. She has touched many lives with her loving ways, and I thank God each and every day that He blessed me with a woman as strong and courageous as He did to be my mother. I also thank Him for proving the doctors wrong who told her that she only had six months left.

            She has had to have one breast removed. The best news, though, is that she has been in remission for over fifteen years. I know that God looked down and saw just how much she loved us and how much she still had to share with us and everyone else she has come in contact with. He saw that we would later in life need her even more as time went on. She has proven to be as wonderful a grandmother as a mother. So He blessed us all in answering what were probably many prayers by letting her stay here on earth to continue blessing those around her and showing her kids how to love and live. Thank, Lord, for your blessings and for letting us keep what I truly believe to be one of Your angels here on earth.

***Update***

            A few years have passed since I wrote this story and had it published in a book called “From the Heart: Stories of Love and Friendship”. After 26 years of being in remission my mom was once again diagnosed with breast cancer. Once again the good Lord, her strength and the doctors have seen her though. She had to have her second breast removed, but is once again cancer free.

            The doctors still to this day when they look at her diagnosis from her second bout, have no idea how she survived. My mom simply points them up and acknowledges why she, and so many others around her, believe how she did. She is still the most courageous and loving person I know.