I just wanted to take a few mins and get sum things off my mind. I lost my life partner back in March and u would think as the days go by it would be easier but it dont. When I see couples together it really is hard for me. I can see the difference between whats real and whats fake. I was with this guy off and on for 18 years more on so da speak and over them 18 years we been through sum shit together from marraige to break-ups to cheating to jail to divorce and me having babies by other people. I know I have not been the person I should have been and I see that now and I dont ever want to live like that again so it makes it hard for me to believe that when u been with sumone and u split up there is a reason for that. I got told once an ex is an ex for a reason and it makes perfect sence now. But now is to late and I have to live with all the past decisions I have made. IT SUCKS..lol but I can only hope that if I should EVER meet anyone I wont make the same mistakes again. Loosing him I lost myself and if it was not for my kids I dont know where I would be today. I love everyone of my kids and I know that they are going to be there for me just like I am and always will be for them just like it was supposed to be with him. This is my wake up call in life and it scares the hell out of me but I know he is watching over me and our kids and my kids and he will make sure everything works out!!! I miss him more and more everyday and no one will ever replace him. Thanks for reading!!!
