I have sat around all night staring at the wall. I have talked to a few people, but still in a funk. As i said before, i know MANY people know and luv Whitney more than me, but this actually hit me really hard.
I still sit here in a daze. Is anyone else? Why has this effected me so hard? Why can someone i started chatting with a few months ago, someone i have never met leave this emotion on me? I hate that this happened. I hate that someone so nice is taken so early?
So i am writing this, something that i hate to do. I hate that you all know i'm hurting. But i want to know why? I went to Whitney's page when i heard, and there i was buying her drinks in her gift box. How stupid do i feel?
I was flirting with her just yesterday, (ya i flirt) And she is gone. A few friends of mine were told a few months ago that another friend had died, then a while ago we found her on MYspace. So i told myself i'd never feel like this again. But here i am. Listen, i'm not looking for for hugs, attention, or anything. There are five or six other people on this site that knew her like family that deserve the attention. I'm writing this to ask why.
Why cant i shake this feeling? Why am i so crushed? Who was she to me? A fubar friend a most. I honestly feel like i lost a real life friend, and that is what is scaring me i guess. This website has taken too much of me.
I honestly have never wanted to leave more than right now. I can't have you people having this effect on my life no offense. I luv some of you. And dig most. But, how has this taken over my life? Why am i sitting here a totally mess? YES I KNOW, HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY FEEL WORSE. But this is my blog, my feelings.
Sorry this is long, i'm venting..... Please tell me how to feel? Tell me why? Tell me you feel like this... PLEASE
