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“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.” This quote is from the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. Morrie calls it “The tension of opposites”. Never in my life have I felt this more real than I do these days.
I know I’ve wanted things to happen to me recently. I’ve taken steps believing that I’m heading towards my goal, yet I already knew from the start that I’d never make it. At the times I am happiest, I am also the saddest. I’ve taken two steps forward and two steps back. Knowing that I’m at a dead end in my journey, I still trudge along doing the little that I can.
“The tension of opposites”, I’m living it.
You control your own life. No one else does. No one is responsible for it but you. This hits me at this time in the morning. I’m blasted and just got home from Capone’s (a cluc here in the Philippines) where I’ve had one too many of those blue alcoholic drinks (Electric Lemonade).
No matter how much you pine about a certain situation you or a friend is in, it falls to whoever is in that situation to fix his/her plight. I for one am guilty of putting myself in situations I shouldn’t be in. You can actually see the effect on me sometimes. There are friends who are always there to help you when they see you in situations that may be detrimental to your sanity. But in the end it really is up to you to either follow or disregard whatever advice they give you. Sometimes it doesn’t take a friend at all to tell you that what your getting into is trouble. It may be as simple as your own conscience talking to you. If you don’t listen to your conscience/friend, then the consequences are only yours to deal with.
Unfortunately a lot of times we disregard what little sense we have and we do the wrong or hurtful thing. When that happens, we must only look at ourselves and say “This is wrong. Stop it.” If we ignore all advice then we must realize it is our own doing.
If I can help it, I'm staying away from Capone's on weekends. I can avoid a lot of things that way. Now I should go to bed.
There are things that you really can’t control. Unlike a computer game in which you can dictate what happens to the little people onscreen, real life isn’t like that. What’s worse is not knowing where your bounds are. It’s disappointing to say the least. When these times happen, I sometimes wonder if I’m thinking straight; or is the little green monster inside me trying to get out.
Waiting at a client's foyer, I realize there are a lot of people who tick me off. These people are the "in" people: inept, inefficient, indecisive and so on.
One must ask why we have so many of those? A friend of mine had a post that was all about patience. Though she was refering to a different type of person (insensitive perhaps) patience still still must be applied here.
As one who deals with clients, you just have to put on a straight face and be nice. Hopefuly karma goes around and pays off.
I know this is a topic that's far from applicable to me right now but a friend of mine asked me my opinion on it.
She asked "Are you less of a person if you back out of a commitment you made, such as marriage, even if you tried as hard as you can to make it work? Remove the religious aspect of marriage. Take it simply as a contract.”
It's a pretty tough question that I actually paused to think of what to answer. I didn't have a ready opinion on it. As I was thinking, she gave me her opinion.
She said "I don't think that you'd be less of a person for doing that, assuming you really did try everything you could do to make it work. Life is short and you have to make the most of it. Why stay in the commitment just for commitment's sake?"
I agree with it, just not completely. I feel that you would be less of a person simply because you should know what you're getting into right before the commitment. You should decide on entering something as great as a marriage thinking ahead, knowing what might or might not happen. Yes I agree that if after some 20 plus years you become miserable because of being together, you should part. That's fine with me. However, in my opinion, it still does make you less of a person. Now if being less of a person makes you happier, so be it.
What do you think?
I know this is a topic that's not applicable to me right now but a friend of mine asked me my opinion on it.
She asked "Are you less of a person if you back out of a commitment you made, such as marriage, even if you tried as hard as you can to make it work? Remove the religious aspect of marriage. Take it simply as a contract.”
It's a pretty tough question that I actually paused to think of what to answer. I didn't have a ready opinion on it. As I was thinking, she gave me her opinion.
She said "I don't think that you'd be less of a person for doing that, assuming you really did try everything you could do to make it work. Life is short and you have to make the most of it. Why stay in the commitment just for commitment's sake?"
I agree with it, just not completely. I feel that you would be less of a person simply because you should know what you're getting into right before the commitment. You should decide on entering something as great as a marriage thinking ahead, knowing what might or might not happen. Yes I agree that if after some 20 plus years you become miserable because of being together, you should part. That's fine with me. However, in my opinion, it still does make you less of a person. Now if being less of a person makes you happier, so be it.
What do you think?
I'm exhausted. Mentally and physically. My lifestyle (ok work included) doesn't afford me much rest. These past weeks I've seen this take a toll on my body as well as my mind. This is very much apparent at work. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be. I've been drawing blanks while writing. This didn't use to happen. I always had something to say. I'm a little more irritable too. I should just get away from all this.
What I need is a real vacation. Get real rest, a good sleep. Just be what I used to be, a bum. I envy a friend of mine who quit her job and is now preparing to go on a trip to Europe. If I could do something like that I'm sure it would help me recover most of my (perceived) wit. Another thing is to get away from all these people I see everyday. A vacation from the routine. That would be great.... Now back to work.
That's what it felt like this morning. Being sent to the principal's office when you do something wrong. In this case I was asked to see our higher up here in the office for my various spats with another manager. I expected this sooner or later.
So what happened? I've aired my greivances (some of which I've tackled in my other posts) and the other guy aired his. In the end we both have to work together. Both of us are too pig-headed to give in yet we have to. Oh well! Let's see where this leads. I've said what I had to and hopefully that gets acted upon. At least they didn't make me stand at the corner facing the wall.
