Its been a long ass week of total emo crappiness. I mean when you think of the word emo, dont envision the emo trend crap, but the whole i want to crawl into a hole and die. where what i have to do is keep myself busy so i dont think about anything. so guess what im gonna share my emoness cause hell its better than crawling into a hole and dying right now at least...
so to start with my biggest deal is that my classes and my major arent suiting me. well that and my minor, i just picked a combo that i thought would be perfect for me. well guess what i was wrong, i love history but damn i just cant keep up with it. The homework is getting harder and the classes are just well not interesting me like i thought that they would. So now i have to go back to square one and re-evaluate everything. so its awesome that i have to go back to square one to begin with, im unhappy and my teacher for English history is hounding me cause im not doing well in her class and i almost failed her midterm. im completely unhappy cause i knew what i was talking about and bam doesnt matter anymore cause im wrong. thanks i hate you too.
so while that happens my mom tells me again that she wont be moving out here because the insurence with held her medication and she didnt have the income to be able to come out here and stay. plus my grandmother and my aunt say that she just isnt ready to be out there anyway. so now my mom is recovering from that and hoping that she has no after effects from being off her medication for so long. and the fact that now she isnt going to be moving out here.
it doesnt end there....then while im dealing with that my relationship ends. i dont want to go into details cause im still sore about it.
so just when i thought that maybe God didnt like me very much right now, he throws another blow...my friend Rachel gets into an accident and her boyfriend Andrew dies, who Andrew i know we never really knew each other, but i knew that you were an awesome guy and my thoughts and prayers go to his family and friends. and Rachel is now in the hospital slowly recovering, but you never know can you. I havent been able to see her and i didnt want to visit her in the hospital after an accident.
so im throughly convinced that God either hates me or he is dumping stuff on my lap cause i cant possibly think anything can get anyworse. watch something will...
P.S. im still whole and uncut and i plan on staying that way. so whoever wagered that i was going to either kill myself or shred myself into pieces guess what your wrong. thanks for the vote of confidence.
