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What are you waiting for?

1. When is the last time you held hands with someone?
last night at my local group's pagan meet-up

2. You wake up as the opposite gender, what's the one thing you do?
go to the bathroom and not have to sit...

3. Have you ever crawled through a window?
many... and have a few scars to prove it!

4. Where is your mom?
Biological one is spread somewhere in ashes under the Golden Gate Bridge...

5. Morning or night person?
Both

6. What was the last movie you watched?
I can't remember... it's been that long ago!

7. Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
Yes - my cat's throat since he is being a P.I.T.A.

8. You have a difficulty doing..?
Anything I don't put my mind to 100%.

9. Things about the opposite sex you notice first.
That they are male... LOL!

10. What do you do when no one is watching?
Pick my nose... or maybe scratch my bum - hahahahaha

11. Ever been in love?
Too many times and it still hurts.

12. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Going off on tangents and tirades for causes...

13. What is your curfew?
What the hell is a curfew? I am an adult!

14. Would you ever dye your hair red?
Did once, wound up looking like Bozo the Clown and never, ever will do that again.

15. You + alcohol =
One unique experience depending on what is being consumed.

16. What's your worst personality flaw?
Too trusting

17. Which country would you like to visit?
I would love to visit the Netherlands, Norway, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Russia and Germany again...

18. Do you want a well paying job or a job you enjoy?
Had both - would like that again but would choode enjoy over pay if given a choice.

19. Do you wish to have the same best friends when you're older?
My best friend - my hubby for sure!

20. When were you last on the phone?
Just got off helping with a crisis intervention move to a safehouse.

21. What were the shoes you wore today?
Bare feet

22. Do you like math?
It's a necessary evil

23. What about history?
I married an archaeological historian... gotta like it somewhat!

24. Last 4 people you saw besides family?
Neighbor, mail man, garbage collector and dog walker today

25. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Yes...

26. Do you have a brother?
Half-brother (dead) but many "spirit" brothers...

27. Are you happy with your life right now?
Do I have a choice? Making the most out of it!

28. Who's your favorite person to talk to online?
I have a few and don't play favorites...

29. Have you ever used photobucket?
Yes

30. Do you like hugs?
Who doesn't

31. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Am married so duh!

32. Do you want to be a doctor?
Would not mind being a holistic doctor.

33. Have you ever fallen asleep with gum in your mouth?
The gums in my mouth that hold my teeth in place but anything else, no.

34. What do you do right before you go to bed?
Thank Gaia for a wonderful day.

35. Right when you get out of bed?
Open my eyes and stumble over the fur babies to trod to pee... ;)

36. Do you love your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not only love my husband but adore, cherish and am enamoured by him!

37. Would you date a guy with hair longer than yours?
I have and love handlebars! But my hair is getting real long so not many old time male hippies around.

38. Do you want to be famous?
Already am in my own mind... being a mom has done that for me.

39. Do you spend a lot of time contemplating life's unanswerables?
Yes, but only unanswerable till someone finds the answers...

40. Do you do your own laundry?
No, my Maytag does!

41. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Don't shave - wax!

42. What were you doing this morning at 1am?
Blogging, talking on the phone, playing with the critters and drinking green tea

43. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Filling out this survey, talking on the phone, trying to get transportation for a crisis victim and smoking like a banshee...

44. What are you doing tomorrow?
Waking up (I hope!)

45. Are you mad at anyone right now?
Conservative Republicans, Fundamentalist Christians, Radicals and Osama Bin Laden!

46. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
Know all the words to Spiral Dance Songs!

47. Last thing received in mail for you?
A card from a dear friend who is unfortunately in jail for a misfortunate incident.

48. How many different drinks have you had today?
Coffee, tea (herbal and iced), milk, cranberry juice, orange juice, water, frappuchino and Acai Berry/Pomegranate juice.

49. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
Always... not polite not to even if just saying I'm checking in and say Hi!

50. Any plans for tonight?
K.I.S.S. it - keep it simple and go with the flow up until I pass out and crash.

51. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Sometimes

52. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Impacted wisdom tooth that was in my jawbone removed.

53. What's outside your front door?
A step, a welcome mat, a candle lantern with conch shells around it, a fern, a palm, and on the door a "welcome" feathered creation of my own design.

54. Do you have plans on next Friday night?
Yup - feed, inibriate, massage, huggle, snuggle and screw the heck out of hubby when he gets home after being gone for work all week!

55. Do you like the ocean?
Love it! I live on an island and need to be surrounded by water!

56. What's your favorite season?
Spring - all the renewal, rebirth and growth of life returning...

57. Have you ever been to a concert?
More than I can count on all digits from rock, metal, classical, jazz and alternative

58. Something you are excited about?
LIFE!!!!!

59. Who around you has the most problems?
Not Me!!!!

60. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
Never had the pleasure of meeting them in person but do have a family trad BOS that impacted my existence

61. Describe your love life?
A plethora of discovery and roller coaster when sometimes you just have to throw your hands up in the air, and scream wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

62. Where do you keep your change?
Monetary coin is in a 5 gallon jug for a splurge when filled, opinion and ideals in a constant quandry.

63. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Last night at a local pagan gathering

64. What was the weather like on your birthday?
Now that I am in Florida - NOT SNOW!!!!

65. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Closed - I have a dog that breathes like an obsene phone caller and would keep me awake at night. Bad enough the cats love waking me with the vertical blinds on the sliding glass door at dawn that like to covet my head and feet on the bed.

I'm Tired

I'm so damn tired.
Tired of fighting
just for the right
to be who I am.
I'm tired of waiting
for the rest of the world
to catch up to the times.
I'm tired of being seen
as a sinner of love.
I'm tired of hiding
my real feelings.
I'm tired of asking
for them to try to understand.
I'm tired of calling out
for the support they have.
I'm tired of being a criminal
for doing what they all do.
I'm tired of being pushed aside
when money for programs is handed out.
I'm tired of being inappropriate
for THEIR children just for being.
I'm tired of being told
I have no right to be a mother.
I'm tired of being thought of
as a freak with no morals.
I'm tired of being accused
of making a choice that was not mine.
I'm tired of being classified
as a bad influence for being me.
I'm tired of being fantasized
to be some sex toy in his wet dreams.
I'm tired of being stereotyped
into having the sex life we all wish for.
I'm tired of being defined
by the gender of my lover
and not by my soul.
I'm tired of being expected
to hide who I am to make them happy.
I'm tired of being scared
by the hate in their fists.
I'm tired of being treated
like a forth class citizen.
I'm tired of being denied
the rights that they take for granted.
I'm tired of crying
and finding that no one cares.
I'm tired of seeing
no one standing up for my rights.
I'm tired of being told
to get help, to change who I am.
I'm tired of being named
wrong just for being who Goddess made me.
I'm tired of being heard
only when I seem like them.
I'm tired of being stopped
from enjoying what should be MY rights.
And I'm so tired of fighting.
But I will.

Back from YuleFest

Greetings one and all... (or anyone who cares to read), Well, I am back from one of my journeys yet once more and feel a need to share my experience with kindred spirits and explain a little bit about what is happening to me as a result. My husband and I attended a most wonderful weekend celebration with kindred spirits and as first time attendees, were welcomed warmly by all with the exception of Friday night getting down to 38 degrees. Brrrrr... it was frigid even with 2 comforters, 2 sleeping bags, 2 blankets on an air mattress in a tent in the woods after a wonderful sweat lodge, drum circle and full moon ritual around a blazing fire. Thank goodness for body heat! All World Acres is a wonderful retreat from the mundane and sleeping under the full moon and star gazing while listening to the sounds of nature all around really gets one in tune with the world as well as oneself. The sounds of the distant trains melding with the symphony of cows, horses, pigs, and roosters (that needed to have their alarms reset) made for a bit of a restless night the first evening but became a very comforting sound once I got use to it. Saturday started off with Tai Chi in the meditation garden then into an Aura Workshop that enlightened me as to what others see in me as well as what I exude. No wonder I felt so at home, as there are so many more just like me and it was so very comforting to realize that I am not alone in what I feel and how things and people are attracted to another's energy. After a lovely lunch at the cafe, I indulged in a healing massage from a Reiki Massage Therapist who is also an empath and feeling the energies being transferred from one to another in a positive feedback had done wonders for my physical well being. I learned some new "tricks" on how to better deal with energy work and shielding that I shall embellish upon in the future. The day went on and another workshop on Mnemonic Tarot presented a unique approach to using the Tarot and the use of keywords to remember the meanings behind the Major Arcana. This method uses only the Major Arcana so that one learns to "listen" to and convey the messages that the Tarot wishes to impart. Covering topics from the meanings of the Major Arcana cards to watching body language and more, even those familiar with the Tarot may discover a deeper understanding and connection to what the Tarot can truly tell you. This was followed by Mama Gina's Kaballah Soup ... or ... Tree Climbing 101. She made an excellent presentation as we pursued a basic understanding of the Kaballah and the cosmic filing cabinet that is the Tree of Life. Gina definitely presented a prominent correlation of a ground up approach to the Kabbalistic Tree of Life and the numerical association of tarot cards that made not only the most sense I have ever heard, but put it's practicalities into every day life. Saturday's Yule Ritual was followed by a lovely Yula Hula with Kat and Kyna that demonstrated not only the traditional Polynesian hula (telling a story with the hands), but Tahitian (style utilizing the hips more than hands) as well. Following their performance were Olav and Gail performing their Tooth and Nail show. A renowned sword swallower and fire performer Olav presented a thrilling and entertaining show with some humor as Gaia threw knives and performed feats on broken glass. What an enjoyable program that warmed us all up before the Bardic and Drum Circles yet again. One spectacular moment was watching the full moon in all her glory as clouds formed, and with the watchful eyes of those present, we were blessed to see the transformation of a lone feather, huge with a visible quill and wisps of fluff at first as an eagle's feather, then transforming into a hawk feather, under the watchful and blinking eye of the dragon in the brightly moon lit skies. This went on for about 25 minutes, with about 50 people mesmerized and simply watching the clouds telling us their story in wonderment and awe, silent and connected. Mind you, the full moon does have it's own effects on me and for some reason, I was out of whack yet once again and needed some alone time to ground and be with myself. I could not put my finger on it, but I was going through a bit of a crisis so went back to the tent, lit my incense and candles, saged and listened to my Chakra CD to be able to be amongst all these new and interesting people. Apparently, this was just the first clue as to what was yet to happen. I made it back out to the fire as the drums died down to find celebrants as well as hubby comfortable and natural as it was warm and toasty. Still feeling blue but better, I made the mistake (or not) of opening up my mouth about us never having our handfasting with witnesses to our love other than a file clerk at city hall when we did our simple "I Do's" to make a legal union. Right then and there, three ordained pagan HP's volunteered to perform an impromptu ritual and with much coercion, was skyclad and surrounded by witnesses and celebrants in a circle of love and light, verifying Eugene and my love, honor and commitment to one another in a most magickal moment I shall never forget. I was bursting from the inside out and glowing as well as floating from all the energy, the outpouring of love and sharing of a sacred moment. The dawn was starting to take hold, so it was time to bring in a new day back at the tent with my love and I swear, I thought we were going to be asked to leave from the sounds that escaped our union but all was well and good and in the morning we received knowing smiles and big hugs from all - which opened another door of conversation on another level of spiritual and physical ecstasy. We did get a late start on Sunday and I did miss my Reiki Level I Class, but did participate in Jessica's Crystal Bowl Meditation for a peaceful healing experience. Boy oh boy... I have been to other such experiences but this was a watershed moment for me. As the bowls sang, I experienced the movement of vibrational energy in each chakra as the sounds changed climbing up from root to crown. Talk about an acid trip without the acid! I was left so shaken, cold and dehydrated that three other empaths/reiki practitioners came to my aid as all I could do was release and cry out so much I never realized I was holding on to. Always having been a more solitary kind of person, the breakdown of my barriers and shields were basically torn away and I am learning a new way to shield as well as be receptive without going into shut down mode. I am still learning and growing and felt very comfortable with those who were there. There is one thing to obtain knowledge through reading, discussing and such, but tis another to actually experience outside the box just what life, love and others there really is outside the comfort level of the box. I plan on being more active with this group as they have much to offer from Healing Today as well as: Brighid's Fire - Feb. 13-15 Beltainia - April 17-20 Also associated with All World Acres is The Temple of Divine Ecstasy - A Universal Order of Sex Magick and Sacred Sexuality: Body Magick April 23-26, 2009 And Utopia in October Any interest, I would strongly suggest you checking out what they have to offer. You may be pleasantly surprised! I know I was! Well, it is good to be back home and my apologies for not being around so much but know you are all in my thoughts and heart. Sending much love and light to every and all as I wish you peace today and every day. Life is not based upon the destination - it is the journey that counts. Make yours count today, tomorrow and every day. Let the past be but a memory without the burden. Namaste.

Tagged by Sweet Judy

You Can Only Type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy and paste into your blog and tag 5 ppl to do the same. Leave a comment to let us know you have done it, AND LEAVE THEM A COMMENT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED. It's really hard to only use one-word answers! 1. Where is your cell phone? nonexistent 2. Your significant other? Eugene 3. Your hair? Growing 4. Your mother? dead 5. Your father? donor 6. Your favorite thing? love 7. Your dream last night? scary 8. Your favorite drink? coffee 9. Your dream/goal? peace 10. The room you're in? computer 11. Music? lots 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive 14. Where were you last night? sleeping 15. What you're not? selfish 16. Muffins? blueberry 17. One of your wish list items? peace 18. Where you grew up? Brooklyn 19. The last thing you did? sneezed 20. What are you wearing? skin 21. TV? some 22. Your pets? loved 23. Your computer? working 24. Your life? interesting 25. Your mood? cranky 26. Missing someone? always 27. Favorite Store? Fairvilla 30. Your summer? hot 31. Like someone? definitely 32. Your favorite color? rainbow 33. When is the last time you laughed? today 34. Last time you cried? today I am tagging: 1. SilverOak 2. Grim 3. Gypsy Heart 4. Firewalker 5. Miss Fiona

What Victoria Means...

What Victoria Means
name.gif
You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you.
You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night.
Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

I Was Tagged! Your Turn!

Instructions...... Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose at least 5 people to be tagged, listing their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You're it!" on their profile and ask them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. 1. I graduated high school with honors and a full scholarship to UCLA for Marine Biology / Oceanography at the age of 16. 2. I can get both ankles behind my neck and imitate a pretzel. (Please don’t ask for a pic of this… hard to set a timer for that one!) 3. I have 482 skydiving jumps under my belt and needed 500 for my instructors’ certification. Unfortunately 9/11 dashed those dreams as I refused to get on a plane for quite some time afterwards having lived through and witnessed the tragedy from the 74th floor of Tower 2 that day. 4. I am a major unicorn fanatic and have a vast collection of collectibles ever since I was 5 years old. 5. I love music and learned how to play the clarinet, flute, trumpet, baritone in band and played piano and keyboards by ear and now playing drums in a local drum circle. 6. I am a cancer survivor (breast, cervical, uterine and ovarian) and 7 years cancer free. 7. I have traveled to every continent with the exception of Antarctica. 8. My dream job was to be the perfect mother of 6 children… unfortunately I only have 1 son who is 26 and serving in Afghanistan, lost a daughter to SIDS, had 2 miscarriages and one ectopic, but also raised 2 step children. 9. I have a weakness for Haagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream. 10. I went through basic training at Ft. Leonardwood, MO and served 2 years in the USAR doing my tours mostly in Amityville, Long Island. MO was Carpentry and Masonry and got out as an F6 to be a mommie. Now it is your turn I tag... Jade Gypsy Heart Lady Spirit Wolf Firewalker Cherokeelady

My Daughter...

Usually I can handle things pretty well, but some days are harder than others. This day being one of them. It was 24 years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She had a bit of a rough start, but came home with mommy and family to love and grow up with. Unfortunately her light was extinguished when she was only 3 1/2 months old. A terrible thing SIDS is, which is what claimed her life, oh so long ago - yet the hurt and pain of such a loss still exists to this very day. So many questions... What would she look like? How smart would she be? What interests would she have had? What talents? and so many more bouncing around in my head. A waste of energy I tell myself, for I'll never know the answers so it's futile even going there. But still, I can't help myself. Photobucket R.I.P. Aileen Elizabeth... 6-25-84 to 10-13-84 Mommy Loves You and knows you are watching over me. With all that is crammed in my brain, being alone without the support of my best friend, my husband and not even being able to speak to him today has put me in a funk. I know he's ok, cause he is on line and on Fubar and sent me a few quick lines in my shoutbox but I need more. I don't ask for much - just some comfort and a shoulder to cry on. Oh well... enough of my pity party. Life goes on and is for the living. Thanks for letting me express myself.

Working on next Tat...

This is an ongoing work in process for my next tattoo and would love input. Photobucket The symbology and meanings are as follows: East Side, Top to Bottom: Sunrise/Morning, Spring (flower), First Quarter/Waxing Moon South Side, Right to Left: Noon/Day, Summer (green upright leaf), Full Moon... West Side, Bottom to Top: Sunset/Evening, Autumn (copper inverted leaf), Last quarter/Waning Moon North Side, Left to Right: Night, Winter (silver snowflake), New Moon Within the points of the Silver Star, starting in the East and moving clockwise: Red Triangle = Fire, Green Inverted Barred Triangle = Earth, Blue Inverted Triangle = Water, Gray Barred Triangle = Air, Silver Lightning Bolt = Spirit Triple Spiral in the Center: The Universe/The Divine = (Goddess-Feminine/God-Masculine) Maiden/Youth (Silver), Mother/Warrior (Gold), Crone/Sage (Copper) Copper Loops: Cardinal Directions, Connection to the World and Elements of the World, Time and Seasons Silver Star: the 5 Elements of Power, the Form of "Man/Woman" (the Head above, Hands to either side, Feet below, Body in Center) Gold Ring: Connection, Unity of All Gray Background: Neutrality of the Universe and Magic - Do As You Will, Harm None.
Greetings friends and sorry for not being around. Apparently I "disappeared off the face of the earth" and wanted to let those who care and showed much love and light that I had a close call and brush (once again) with the man with the Sickle... I was out in the yard and was stung by a wasp. I went into shock, stopped breathing and heart stopped and wound up swollen and blue from an allergic reaction as well as oxygen deprivation. After several days in the cardiac ICU, I had to stay for more tests and antibiotics as well as the usual crap of IV's and getting lots of rest (yeah right - like anyone can rest when they are taking temperatures and blood pressure at 4 AM). Now I have to carry around a new sting kit since my old one was expired and didn't do squat. It's a real scary experience when the world goes dark and cold on a person and what I do remember was not all that pleasant. All the buzzers and bells, feeling of being shocked several times and turning wonderful hues from the bruises of cpr and paddles is no fun. Just a warning to any and all - if you are allergic to stinging insects - PLEASE - get an epi kit and keep it on you at all times and make sure of the expiration date. I am ever so thankful that my neighbor witnessed the incident and called 911 immediately - or else I might not still be here and well... let's just not go there. Glad to be back and thanks for all the love. Wishing all a belated Happy Paddy's Day and Brightest Blessings for a beautiful Spring, Blessed Ostara and Happy Easter! Much Love and Light!
Suicidal Tendencies Life Is A Prison Life is a prison, Oh Goddess let me out. No one to listen, To hear when you shout. Climb the walls of insanity, Ride the waves of despair. If you fall it don't matter, There's no one to care. Used to wish for a window, To see birds, trees and sky, But you're better without one - Stops you aiming too high. Watching freedom is painful, For those locked away. Seeing joy, love and happiness, Another price that you pay. Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true. Your mind makes the choice, And enforces it too. Cell walls built by society, With rules to adhere. If you breach the acceptable, You had better beware. Hide the pain, carry on, Routine is the key. Don't let on that you're not, What you're pretending to be. Lock it all up inside you, How badly that bodes. Look out for that one day, When it all just explodes. Leaving naught but a shell, Base functionality too. But killing all else, That was uniquely you. So how do you grow, With a timebomb inside? Or how to defuse it, Without destroying its ride? You can't... so why try?
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