Everyone who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". He is a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said "I'd like one too!" Then I said "But this is a dog." He said he wouldnt care what she looked like.Then I said " You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He winked and told me I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the motel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said, "You dont need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we dont care what you do." I said, "Look, Sex keeps me awake all night." The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competiton began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you dont understand, " I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it is no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The court room isn't a confessional. Stick to the case please." Then I told him after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I told him I was looking for sex. My case comes up Friday.
