An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cowsand was lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beerhall. One of them said,"Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick.""How did you get it fixed?" asked Ben."Well I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose and he got right after her." Ben went home to the farm and decided to try it. He grabbed a cow, dipped his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all around the bull's nose. The bull got a rip roaring boner and immediately jumped on the cow. Ben was impressed. That night, he got into bed with his wife and can't get the effect on the bull out of his mind. As she lay sleeping, Ben dips his fingers into his wife's vagina and feeling that it was nice and wet, rubbed it all around his nose and got a rip roaring hard on. He quickly shook his wife awake and cried out,"Honey, look!" She rolled over, turned on the light and said,"You mean you woke me up in the middle of the night just to show me that you have a nosebleed?"
The other night I was invited out for a night with the"girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight,"I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him"MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said"We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said,"Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said"oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
and Hugz~
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