Interests
"LOST LOVE"
KELLEY BRUTSMAN
As I am gathered here with our family
and friends at our place
I notice a tear fall down my face
Wandering back to another land
Remembering the last time he held my
hand
We were walking down the street
When someone knocked him off his feet
Fighting for his wallet the man shot
him in the head
Now the one I love is dead
Going back to reality at our old place
Another tear falls down my face.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
-- Spike Milligan
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
-- Phyllis Diller
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
-- Anonymous
Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.
-- Madonna Dangerous Game (1993)
This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
-- Judy Tenuta
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?
-- Beverly Mickens
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
-- Chris Rock
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
-- Joan Rivers (on Marie Osmond)
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
-- Bob Hope
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
-- Jay Leno
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. -- Groucho Marx
