today i feel as if ct is starting to turn into a public school where everyone had special clics and dont give a rats ass about anyone else. i ahve posted shit and no one reposts them its a bunch of crock cause i have to repost them myself. i am depressed tattoo had to start his new job sooner then planned, my grandpa has to have surgury this move as well as my grams they are going down hill quickly. It worries me and yet again this is another xmas that is missing some family members. my birthday comes up on thursday and i dont think anyone is gonna do anything for me. what they is happening im gonna be 20 but i dont feel it, cause for crying out loud im not graduated yet for many reasons. i need a drink so damn bad right now but i wont cause i am the only one here with my son. i need to escape to where i dont know. and no one give me a smartass comment about that. well im gonna go before i bore you to death