My real name is: Gordon Shumway, nicknamed A.L.F. (Alien Life Form. I was born on October 28, 1756 on the Lower East side of the planet Melmac. The planet Melmac was located six parsecs past the Hydra-Centaurus Supercluster and had a green sky, blue grass and a purple sun. The commonly-used currency is "Foam".I am rather a handsome chap, my body is covered with orange fur. I have a rippled snout, facial moles, eight stomachs, and I like to eat cats (tabbies have been rumored as a favorite, but my preferred snack has not been definitively stated). I attended high school for 122 years and was captain of a Bouillabaisseball team (which is played on ice using shellfish as a ball).Now I bet you all are wondering how I got to earth, so let me explain...After my home planet Melmac blew up, I followed an amateur radio signal and crash-landed into the garage of the Tanners. The Tanners are a suburban middle class family consisting of a social worker Willie, his wife Kate, their children Lynn and Brian, and their cat Lucky (HA, my personal favorite).