A recently widowed Jewish lady was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him."Hello, sir, how are you?""Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book."I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked."First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book."Do you live around here?" she asked."Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted."Do you like pussycats?"With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man,"How did you know that was what I wanted?"The man replied,"How did you know my name was Katz?"
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper."Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager,"but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?""Well," he replies pointing out one brand,"this is as soft as a baby's bottom. It's $1.50 per roll."He grabs another and says,"This is nice and soft, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her,"We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll.""Give me the No Name," she says. She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says,"Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne.""Why?" he asks."Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take shit from anybody!"
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