fubar

DICHOTOMY OF THE HUMAN WILL
Lots of people have made snide comments that I'm a plagerist. " There's NO possible way that a dude as shot out as him could produce the verbal tapestries he does," the ignorant say. " Surely someone who's taken lives WILLFULLY cannot possess a high IQ or have the neural passages neccesary to be one of "us".....Simply put....No...I'm not one of "you"....and "you" know who "you" are.Allow me to open my Wormhole and let you see the REAL me........
There is but only one characteristic that seperates Homo Sapiens from the rest of all organisms on Earth...The Will Of Man. The Free Will Of Man.... Of ME....when broken downinto its most bare and primal components are at once sensually exhilerating and terror-inducing simultaneously...Its both heart-wrenching and life-fulfilling at the same time....
My Will has been....and one day soon shall again...used to ensconce the Queen Of My Everything in the precious and powerful cloak of my adoration. I used My Will to lift up that Angelto her rightful place atop the pedestal of my life...forsaking all she forsook...whatever it took using My Will to never allow a frown to touch her mouth or the mist of a tear to form in the window to her soul....
I asserted My Will to move mountains for her...and I let My Will to take her delicate hand gently in mine and easily lead her into the warm comfortable protection that lie in my arms....My Will...so excrutiatingly light and tenderly brush my slightly parted lips slowly over the length of the alter I know that is ur body....and at which I gladly worship...Have you EVER had someone HOVER ova ur skin so incredibly CLOSE that only a few atoms seperate us but the powerful charge of the moment jumps the gap between lips and skin and the orgasmic jolt of "US" flashes into ur cerebral cortex and begins to spread ecstasy into every nerve ending in ur beautiful body.....especially that area that SOOO many dudes pretend to know its location and the importance of giving LOTS of attention to the G-Spot....
Now imagine this done with WILLFUL and determined desire to MAKE you see the very face of God Hisself....and when My Will allows me to finally...at last...travel slowly back up over every incredible and arousing milimeter of you and I'm now above you....smiling....looking into those orbs...wanting to get INSIDE the essence of YOU and entwine our souls .....My WIll guides my lips onto urs....I cup ur Angelic Face with trembling hands as our tongues dance in indescribeable passion....of REAL love.....of KNOWING....me,you....and you,me....
In My World, I don't MAKE love to my queen...Quite the contrary, our "love" has been evident...its more a matter of a present tense exhibition of pure,primally raw and God-given emotion...and done daily and often....MY WILL'S duty is for my Earth-bound Angel to know,feel,believe...with every fiber of her(your?:)) being that ....hopefully YOU...are loved without condition,expectation, or qualification.....that you are loved intensely just as you perfectly are.......
OK.......so I lied.......I'm not very laid back......I'm pretty much ur typical combat Marine vet......some days half shot out....a few fully.......sprinkled with a few ...a very few....of good ones. I don't like crowds, I hate loud sudden noises cause of the instinctive reactions i exhibit that can be pretty friggin' embarrassing....I have a love/hate relationship with my beloved Corps....I LOVE my brothers dat I fought,bleed,ate,cried,laughed with.....I HATE the beauracratic bullshit that the chains of command are imbedded with. I'm a Warrior,first and foremost...always will be.....not saying that cause I'm billy bad-ass, I'm not....what I am is FIERCELY loyal....if I'm with you, I'm WITH YOU.....all the way. I know what its like to take another life, I know that surreal experience of the first firefight one finds themselves in....ur heart feels like its gonna come bursting out thru the fire-resistant undershirt,the blouse, the body armor and ur web gear.....you feel ur guts go liquidy n ur bladder has a moment and you feel that ur living the last few moments of ur life...then the heart of the Warrior takes hold and the muscle memory kicks in....you rise over the low block wall ur covering behind with ur 4-man fire team , all as one as the roar of the M-60 machine guns lays down a suppressing fire as you bring the front sight post of ur M-4 toward the point of contact. The 60's hold fire after a good 4 or 5 10 round bursts.....you n ur Marines have the fields of fire and and the kill boxes are there....ready for the haji that wants to reveal himself and dare to try to fuck with ur brothers....shadowy movement n then the enemy is coming round his cover position to put rounds on you n ur Marines....a short,shallow inhale as you hold target just above n to the right of his turbined cranium, squeeze the trigger,don't yank...you send the 1st of many well-placed ,well-aimed shots of 5.56 ball round 80 yds down range,into the flesh, thru the muscle and into the vital organs of the bastard whose mission it is to kill you n everything you stand for.....so thats how I got my cherry popped.....


Music Playlist at MixPod.com
All along it was a matter of WHEN...not IF one of the 4 Marines under me in Fire-Team 2,1st Squad,2nd Platoon, Fox Company,3rd Battalion,7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, Fleet Marine Force....had his candle snuffed....I KNEW I wouldn't take it well either cause like I said, when I'm with you,I'm WITH you....ALL THE WAY....and as a result of me being me, I bunked with, ate the shitty food, read the letters from the angels of our nightmares who were suffering in their own way at home,laughed with them as they laughed at ME cause I'm jus so fuggin' GOOFY sometimes, sweated with, shared porn with,.......I have never nor probably WILL eva share the kind of bonds that I had with those assholes.....so the day that Brady died has become a "before" and "after" life-shattering event.
I always hoped....prayed....that I would be the statistic....because a) like I said , I knew I would most definitely NOT take it well, b)my Fallen Marine's wife/parents/kids would take the death as a sign of my poor leadership, c)I could FINALLY come home. Now, my dear reader, I realize....NOW... how hopelessly insane the preceeding sounds. In my current state as the perfect picture....(giggle).... of mental health....LMFAO>>>......oh, I couldn't keep composure as I typed that....OK, I know the thinking displayed above was a tad....uhh....skewed. While the 1st point was n still IS valid, the 2nd was dismissed by a letter to me from the father of Our Fallen Hero....In it he told me that his son told him that LCpl. Jeff McCallie was the best damned fire-team leader the Corps had to offer, that said LCpl. cared, NAY LOVED,his Marines and did everything in his power to make sure the handful of Marines under him were combat-ready at all times and NEVER went without logistically speaking.

He was in the lead humvee, manning the comm gear....We had 7 more weeks of THE SUCK before we rotated back state-side.It's mostly a blur to me now.....Long story short, His vehicle , his side took a helluva blast from a 3-shell daisy-chain(suffice it to say dat thats a bad day when ur round n one those fuckers goes off).....We drove into a well-executed squad sized ambush.....MY Warriors....yea, MY 4 Warriors KNEW what my priority was and these mother fuckers went cyclic on those Haji asses....cyclic fire is a "melt the barrel" rate of fire...within the first ten seconds of the initial blast MY Warriors put up an inpenetrable wall of lead, smoke and shrapnel.....a wall of death....I remember getting to the mangled HMVEE and seeing Brady's ass scrambling out the overturned mess. "Armor did its job" WAS MY QUICK THOUGHT.....Then he tried to standand as he reached the standing position, it became all too apparent that shit was NOT cool. Enitre right leg of pants had already saturated with not the bright red blood of veins.....but the dark, thick Oxygenated blood only found in arteries....Slow-mtion....everything seems SOOO fucking SLOW....the time it takes for me to close the few yards between us.....the time it takes for him to collapse ....I get to him....well, I slide into him....taking out my SQB combat knife, I ain't dickin' round with taking his pants off , they're getting cut NOW......4 seconds to do .....his leg has instinctively cramped , bringing his knee up to his chest in an effort to slow the rapid blood loss....I'm assessing....2 seconds....I scream into his ear that I've got to get to his leg, this shits gonna hurt...I grab his knee n yank it down and get welcomed to an unbelievable geyser of arterial spray that hits me square in the middle of my body armor and goes over my entire being. He screams.....a scream that I hear every time I sleep....so I do ALOT of Rx speed...but thats another story....there's a 3-inch gash on Brady's thigh that 2 inches more would've Brady a nutless but very much ALIVE dude. I look at MY Fallen Warrior, at his blueish clamy face and he sees the look in my eyes .....I scream NO, GODAMNIT,HANG THE FUCK ON, I GOTTA CLAMP IT OFF,HANG THE FUCK ON!!!!No warning given, I plunge my right index finger into the hole cause i can't see a fuggin' thing cause all the blood. I have to feel the femoral artery that has been severed and have GOT to get a pair of clamps on it...by this time the Corpman has come up and he's a good dude, ...he knows...so he lets me vainly ....so FUCKING vainly fight to save MY Warriors life....he knows theres nothing he could do any betterso he sits on Brady's legs as they constantly spasm. I feel the flow but I can't find the end of the goddamn thing.....30 seconds doing this....By this time I'm COVERED in blood, my Kevlar n Gargoyles have long been thrown aside(helmet/shooting glasses)....the flow AND the force of the flow are slowing.....I withdrawl my cramping finger from the wound and give Doc Hoyle a look an he takes over what I was doing as I lift my buds head an put it in my lap and look down into his eyes...to let him know that I'm here....that I know whats happening and I know YOU know....
There's a light in a persons eyes...you know that??? You never notice it cause ur always seeing it...its their LIFE...thats what the fuck that light is....Their LIFE.....and I saw...unblinkingl;y and through a sheen of tears welling up in my own...that light slip slowly from Brady's eyes that day in the eternally fucked-up country of Iraq, In the mean streets of the city of Fallujah, on the scorched earth....and I saw it flicker....I saw a spark....and then I saw nothing .....there was a vast emptyness in that set eyes I was falling into .....like a bottomless well....I actually FELT that I was falling.....It was a spell only broken by Doc Hoyle as he slowly lifted his bloody left hand to MY Warriors lids and closing them.....I knew at that moment my life had been changed if not forever, then at least forthe relatively short time I had left on it.....and I'm still counting as I'm MADLY banging away at these fuggin' little black keys ....bangin' away at the hopes that I've done right by MY Warriors....that I've done right by YOU,dear reader, .......and I on good days that I've done right by myself,just an old ShotOut,SpunOut Warrior , Jeff McCallie.....PEACE,YA'LL


http://youtu.be/Sam4lq2WHos