after few month i m back to my Fubar...nice to see you all

Seeking some comfort from all that I have doneI find myself once again alone and on the runperhaps fair penance for some foul past deedsbeing selfish and ignoring others pressing needsIs it karma or fate by which I am being abusedmaybe being ignored by those tired of being usedI wish I had known selfishness had such a costa small momentary gain but look at what I've lostI won the fight but her love was the price I pay,I got what I wanted but my friends all went away.In the end to this fact I must my thinking resignthat loneliness is a sturdy cage of our own design.

Poem of the day, a short one to start the weekend.I watch as the magenta sun rises over the crystal seaand listen to the rolling waves as they come to meThe smell of magnolia and jasmine fill the morning airand feel the warm breeze as it washes away my careMy heart sings a song of happiness for things yet to beand none surpass the feeling of having you with me.

Daily Poem: written after a conversation with one that thinks money"will" buy happiness.Born into this world wrapped in silk and laceraised and trained in ways of poise and gracenow you are a rich adult with childhood blownbut still you are unable to survive on your ownThough in a high er class to which some aspireyou can not even build a simple cooking firenot knowing how to hunt, gather or even to fishso use to others bringing whatever you do wishYou turn up your pert nose at someone like mea crude, rough hick is all that can you see.People love you, at least that's what you thinkas they compliment and bring you a fresh drinkbut you should pray to all the powers that beto you never find out yourself without moneyfor then you see that you are truly all alonethose so called friends with your money gone.I who have nothing of value compared to youat least have friends that will remain truefriendship is all I have that they could gainand through it all that friendship will remain.

Daily Poem:I can not sing you songs of love lasting and truenor can I the sad ones of hearts so hurt and bluenot of the bygone heroes making valiant last standsor of explorers perilous journeys on far away sandsfrom me you shall hear no song, I have no choicefor since she has gone, no song will suit my voice.

It seems that people are in such a hurryto bear other's children and their namesinto relationships they so often scurryas if it doesn't matter, all fun and gameseach doing untold damage to other's pridethey strike at them for not being the dreamthat they have nurtured and created insideand what a foolish sad loss it does seem.Patience would show them who they truly areall their lovely charms as well as their badfor none of us are perfect this is true by farso expecting them to be will only make us sadbut if they behave in ways acceptable to youand if we accept them the way that they beeach dedicated to the other's happiness truethen love can grow and how happy both will befor why would one as imperfect as we all arethink that we deserve perfection from anotherso take some time and find one on a moral parthat loves the imperfect you, as did your mother.

Daily Poem:Standing on the seashore, enveloped in the morning mistfeeling the chill of night before the sun has kissedmy heart filled with the desperation that the lonely feelwandering this world searching for love that is realThe warm waves wash my tired feet and bathe me with desireto become whole one day, a dream to which we aspireSo do I push into the waters and head for the other shoreknowing I will not make it and will suffer no moreor walk again upon the land and chase that elusive dreameach day I must face this decision it does seem.

Daily Poem:I feel as though I am floating in the abyss of spacesenses numbed by emptiness and the cold upon my facedrifting about aimlessly with all out of my controlcondemned to solitude forever in body and in my souljust a vast expanse of nothingness that is always therenobody for company, nobody that will ever even careSuch is my whole existence since you chose to go awaysent from heaven to purgatory I was condemned that day

Daily Poem:I know that I am old, fat, ugly, and so very poormy only good attributes are in my heart and headI know that you desire and deserve so much moreI have heard it in what you have and have not saidand your actions say it enough to drive it my core.I know that you are special, that is so easy to seeyou are younger, slimmer, and beautiful that is trueit hurts a bit that you feel that you better than mefor while on looks alone, I cannot compete with youthat one thought of yours shows how ugly you can be.I am not a lesser person, I am just very differentand hold dear other thoughts and values than youI only hope that before all your time here is spentthat empathy is learned and you will see it's truebeauty is less in how we look than the things we do.

Daily Poem:The barnswallows now are gone and leaves do turnand I am busy gathering the wood that I will burn,Each warm day a blessing as it stays off the coldit is apt to be a very long one,I am being told.I do enjoy the blessings that nature does bring,but must confess that all winter, I wish for Spring.

Daily Poem:I gaze upon your smiling face and how my heart does poundmy head lost in excitement, makes feet leave the groundlost within your mesmerizing eyes I gladly stay foreverand all my hopes and dreams are that we part ways never.Your wisdom and your beauty are enough to capture any manbut I am blessed to be the one for which you have a plan.If it were in my power to stop time forever in this spotI would consider doing so to keep this true love I've got,instead I must brave the future, how glorious it can be,as long as through it all you are always there with me.

The fine feathered partridge pecking at the groundthe busy little squirrels as they scurry all aroundthe dry and brittle leaves as they float slowly downcoating where we walk with a carpet of crispy browneach of them a true blessing and Nature's way to say"Get ready for the Winter that is now coming your way."

Thanks for the request

Daily Poem:Let me gaze into your eyes and do so longinglyand see your love shimmer like an endless sealet me hold you in my arms, feel your true heartand know I hold the world there, not just a partlet me feel the emotion as out lips meet to kissand know you indeed feel the same blessed blisslet me give you my love and trust and forever knowthat you hold it safe, dear, and never let it goAnd for you I shall freely and happily do the sameforever we will be as one in spirit and in name.

Looking for the truth and just getting liesand wondering why it is still a big surprise.One would think that I would've learned by nowbut still I keep trusting and hoping somehowto find that true soul of which tales do speak,that one true love that it says we should seek.Am I a hopeless dreamer or just some lost foolto put myself through this is stupid and cruel.Should I just accept it and build a great wallknow that for me nobody will ever in love fallor leave my heart exposed to tormenting painknowing it could just happen again and again;in hopes that one will come along at long lastthat will put all that misery well in the past?

I told her that I loved, what she needed to hearI hope that it would help her overcome her fearshe blossomed like a desert flower soon after the rainleaving behind the scars and sadness, no longer in painI watched her develop into a wonder for all to seea magnificent lady, the way that she should always beI tried then to let her down easy and to let her knowthat I was likely the only one that did not want her sohoping that she would find another to give her love truethat she would forget all the pain she had been throughinstead I saw her shrivel like a flower in the hot sunand can not forgive myself for the damage I have done.A lie told with even with compassion as it's intentcan do some horrid damage before it's energy is spent.