Well lets start off with telling you this is not me. Well it is me it is just not me. I know that doesn't make any amount of scene but let me continue. I have many a myspaces. Many of them are merely an image of me. None am I fully myself for fear of god only knows what. On this one I have deiced that I am not letting ANYONE I know, know about this. I will keep this to my pirate self. So on here I can be me. I can express myself how I see fit. No hiding anything accept my real identity. For now the name I've deiced to take on is Lexi. When I find a better suited name I'll change it. Now on to the warning, READERS BEWARE!! I'm am going to be VERY blunt. I will write as I please and I am going to try to describe me to my fullest ability!! ME: I'm 18. I'm pretty much a lazy bum right now which sucks. I'm working on my GED which I could put a lot more effort into though I haven't. I LOVE to write. I write poems and songs and just random shit all the time. I'm a VERY crazy person. I'm a leo with virgo traits. If you know nothing about astrology I'd suggest reading about those to signs to figure me out a lot better. I'm an attention seeker. I need more then most. Although I do seek attention I do it in my own way. Not by lashing out in anger or silting my wrist. I get my attention usually from males. They're easy to manipulate. I dress flirty and sexy. I do crazy things. I sing randomly. I blurt out opinions. All these things I do I do for attention. I'm very into my sexuality, hence I love sex. I'm not a whore by any means by I VERY much enjoy the feeling of a male thrusting ever so deeply into me. I'm into a lot of crazy things. I'm a bit of a necrophiliac. I LOVE to be tied up!! I love to role play as a rape victim. I think I like the "safe" rape roll play so much because when I was raped it made me feel like I lost all control, in the bed room "safe" rape gives me the control to stop what I do not want. I'm not sure if that makes any scene but oh well it does to me. I'm usually a happy go lucky person although I tend to hide my emotions a bit to well sometimes. I'm a bit apathetic sometimes. I don't cry when I should! I don't like to cry in front of people. It shows weakness. I fell in love once. It was the truest and purest love. If you've ever watched Charmed it's like Piper and Leo's love. It was inevitable. He was an amazing person. For readers sake I'll call him Matt. We were friends. He was amazing but I screwed that up just like I always do. I hurt him, I fear pretty bad. I hate myself more and more everyday for what happened to us. We were the closest of friends. The truest of truths and I wrecked it with my neurotic insanity. We haven't spoke in 3 almost 4 years and I still long to hear his voice. I'd give my life for his friendship and respect again. I'm currently with another. For readers sake I'll call him Chad. We've been together going on 2 years on and off. I do love him and I'm quite sure I am in love with him but our love is not the same as the one I held with Matt. We are engaged although I find myself wanting out. I've been having an affair on him for quite some time. It started a little before Thanksgiving. He knows and he knows my lovers name. I'm currently in the situation that I am unable to see my lover otherwise the affair would continue. I tell Chad the affair is over and he has nothing to worry about although I know it is a lie. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with my lover and for readers sake I'll call him, Corey. The feelings I feel for Corey are over whelming. They remind me so much of those I felt for Matt. They came on so suddenly and so a brute and in my face. I find myself longing for his touch and to feel him on, in, and around me. Corey is VERY sexually satisfying as where Chad is not at all. I am a very out spoken person. Most can not handle me. That does not bother me a bit. Well I promise to write more but my time at the library is almost up.