Interests
Joke Of the week!
A guy is late on the way home from work, it's his anniversary and he knows his wife will be pissed so he's speeding. He sees the red and blues flashing in the rear view and punches his steering wheel as he pulls over. "The wife is gonna kill me," he thinks to himself. "I'm already late, this is going to tip her over the edge."
He has an idea.
The cop walks up to his window and asks for his license. "I don't have one," the guy replies. "Is this car registered?" Asks the cop.
"I dunno, it's not mine. I stole it off the guy in the trunk after I shot him with the gun in the glove compartment."
The cop freaks out, pulls his gun and orders him to get out of the car, then calls for back up. In minutes the car is surrounded by cops. A commander walks up to the guy and asks his name.
"It's on my license in my wallet."
The commander looks puzzled. "I thought you were unlicensed and driving an unregistered car,"
"I have a license and the registration is in the glove compartment."
The commander walks around and opens the glove compartment. No gun. And the registration checks out with the guys license. He then orders the guy to open the trunk. No body.
"I don't understand. The officer here claims you were unlicensed, unregistered in a stolen car that you stole from the guy you shot and dumped in the trunk.
The guy replies, "Yeah? I bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding too."
Music
This is for any female the doesn't understand us guys....
Here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Plese note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. it's like a full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just Say It!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's wht we do. Sympathy is what your girlfirneds are for.
1. A headache the last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we siad 6 months ago is indmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like a Victoria's sercet girl, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we siad can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one!
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatsever you hve to say during commercials.
1. Christopher columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. All men only see 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scrached. We do that.
1. If we ask whats wrong and you say nothing we will act like nothing is worng. we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up later.
1. If you ask a question, you don't want the answer to, expect n answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutly anything you waer is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am im shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. yes i know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind tht? Its like camping.
