41 Year Old
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Male
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From Falls Church, VA·
Joined on May 5, 2008
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Born on September 22nd
16
***Spoiler Warning*** I die at the end...The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
41 Year Old
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Male
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From Falls Church, VA·
Joined on May 5, 2008
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Born on September 22nd
Interests
Me = single
You = hot and want to meet me
Movies
Star Wars
Indiana Jones
Transformers
Notting Hill
Dirty Dozen
action movies
Idols
Ghandi
Hugh Hefner
Jesus
The guy who created the thong