Hi, my name is Stan Marsh. First I had better introduce you to my family. My parents are Randy and Sharon Marsh, and I have a big sister called Shelly who is a real pain in the pipe and a Grandpa who calls me Billy and wants me to kill him off. Then there is my Uncle Jimbo - I'm not sure if he is really related but that's what I call him - who runs the gunstore. He hangs out with an old buddy from 'Nam called Ned Gerblosky who plays the cancer kazoo. My best friends are Kyle Broflovsky and Kenny McCormick and we all hang out with that lardbutt Cartman. We go to South Park Elementary School where we are taught by Mr Garrison and Mr Hat (though sometimes it's Mr Twig). Other kids in the class include Pip, Craig, Tweek, Clyde, Butters, Bebe and Wendy Testaburger. Wendy and I sometimes share a quiet moment together out by Stark's Pond. I always feel a bit queasy when we are together though...