Wow, I'm glad I found you tonight! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're all RATED UP now! Feel free to stop by my profile and browse for a bit if you want to. Also, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)
hey how are you? :).. I just stopped by to show you some love..I rated your profile a 10. I would have rated you an 11 but im out for the day. If you could please take a second to return the love id really appreciate it..I love new friends and fans so feel free to add me too :)~*~Neabear~*~
Hell, that's nothing!!!Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,"We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says,"Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says,"I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says,"I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road.Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long."Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver."What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.The chauffeur replied,"I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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